Of Roses and Taints
by TunelessLyric
Summary: Blight story following Aira Amell. T rating for a lot of violence, and slight language in places. Aira makes friends in some strange places in her travels.
1. Aira Amell

_So I've edited all this, for new readers, I wish you well on this journey. Hopefunlly you don't hate this. For returning readers who wanted to reread, Hope I caught it all this time!_

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

**Aira Amell**

_"Pleased to meet you, I hope you guessed my name" – Sympathy For the Devil ~ The Rolling Stones_

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><p>I was almost ready for bed. The First Enchanter, Irving, had sent a note to me during my last lesson of the day. It was just a summative lesson about Primal magics. The note had said I was to bring my staff with me to the Harrowing Chamber tomorrow at 11 am the next day.<p>

"Aira!" I turned to see my two best friends turning the corner of the hall. One was tall and lanky, dark, shaggy haired and almost perpetually worried, the other was better-proportioned with a long blond ponytail. Both were around nineteen and didn't get along very well with the other boys.

"Anders," I greeted the boy who called out, "Jowan."

"Didn't think you were going to bed before saying goodnight, did you?" asked Jowan as he pushed his dark bangs off his forehead.

I shook my head. "Me? Forget? As if you two'd let me!" I feigned horror.

Anders chuckled and rolled his eyes. One was still swollen from the beating he had received three days ago when he was caught after the latest escape attempt. He was thrown into solitary for the duration of the last 90 days. I had offered to heal it for him, though he was more than capable of taking care of it himself. He had refused, saying all the apprentices should have a chance to see what Templars are really like.

"Anyways," I said, "goodnight guys."

"See you in the morning!" Anders called as he opened the door to the boys' room.

"Night," echoed Jowan as he ducked in after Anders.

I entered the girls' chambers and plunked down on my bottom bunk right at the door. As the second most experienced mage apprentice in the Tower I got to sleep in the draft of the door. I was supposed to handle anything that could creep in as we slept and not panic before letting an Enchanter know.

I crawled into bed and said my 'goodnights' to my bunkmate above me, a young woman half a year older than me named Cassendara. Then, I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I kept thinking about my Harrowing. Apprentices went to the Harrowing Chamber with First Enchanter Irving and came out senior mages. They changed during the Harrowing. Many died.

I tried not to let that thought sink into the Fade with me as I entered the dream world to sleep.


	2. Harrowing

_So, MapleMaven thought I should explain this lyric. Aira pointed out she has her Harrowing and Jowan doesn't seem to have anything important to do as he is there when she woke up. Weekend, or just coinicidence? Also, I know 'Templars' shouldn't techically be capitalized. This was roughed out before I read Stolen Throne and the Calling. This is how I always imagined it being. _

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><p><strong>Part 1 Gray Warden<strong>

**Harrowing**

_"Everybody's working for the weekend" – Working for the Weekend ~ Loverboy_

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><p>I blinked awake the next morning with a feeling of foreboding and couldn't figure out why at first. Then it hit me, I was going to the Harrowing Chamber today. I wished I could just lie in bed for another half hour before stumbling blearily down to breakfast in the Great Hall and sit with Finn and Jowan and Anders.<p>

I cut that thought off, Anders was already gone. It was a week precisely since he was released from solitary confinement last and he had come out with a new plan. Something even wilder than last time. Part of me wished he would stop trying to escape so our group could go about our business without being carefully watched by the Templars. Part of me wished he would be brought back so he could explain all the new things he experienced on this outing and still another part of me hoped this time Anders would get out for good.

I quickly dressed and made my way down into the Great Hall to eat. After standing in the line staring emptily at the food I figured I would just steal whatever Jowan got. I wasn't hungry enough to eat a whole meal by myself. I sat down and waited for him to show up.

The early risers were just clearing from the hall when my bed-headed friend made his appearance. He looked as though he hadn't got much sleep in the night. He probably helped Anders slip off. Jowan got himself a standard-issue bowl of porridge and an extra spoon when I waved at him from our usual seat.

"Not hungry?" he asked as he sat down next to me.

"Not really," I admitted. "Nervous."

Jowan shot me a quizzical glance. Suddenly, butterflies awoke in my stomach.

"Harrowing," I managed around the first mouthful of brown glop.

"When?"

"11 o'clock." I tried to calm myself down with a few deep breaths but that didn't seem to help.

"You don't have long then," he remarked. Forget note, i heard a whole symphony of jealousy in his voice.

"Your day will come soon enough." After all, he had arrived at the Tower years before me.

Jowan just picked a loose stitch in the cuff of his ugly blue robe.

"I'd better collect my stuff," I sighed. "I hope I see you later."

"Me too." Jowan nodded and looked back into his half-eaten breakfast. I sighed again at the expression of longing on his face.

I returned to my bunk and slowly, meticulously put the bedclothes in proper order. Then I grabbed my staff from the chest at the foot of the narrow bed. I tried to stifle my rising anxiety, but that didn't work either.

Outside, I found a Templar waiting to escort me to the Harrowing Chamber. I recognized him as Cullen. His haphazard, close-cropped blond curls almost under control. I looked at him carefully, knowing his was possibly the last face I would see before the Harrowing. His eyes were narrowed but not in loathing as most Templars were, they almost seemed…concerned?

"Let's be gone," he said stiffly.

I stared at him for a moment swearing I had seen…what? Emotions? Something that shocked me greatly, that was for certain. A glint of knowing something I didn't and the urge to let it out. The inability to admit something when all one wanted was to blurt it out. That was strange.

We started off down the hall to the staircase. Cullen stayed one step to my left, keeping me close to the wall. I suddenly felt tiny next to the bulk of the Templar's armour. We didn't pass anyone in the halls. All of the other mages were either in the Great Hall or the library by now.

Once I crossed the top of the stairs onto the landing of the Chamber, my butterflies went crazy. I crossed the landing to the heavy doors through which I would either become a full mage or a terrifying abomination. Possessed by a demon, I would try to kill everything in my path, and loose my life.

I shoved against the door and met the knight-commander of the Templars, Gregoir, a handful of his men, Irving and three other mages. The room smelled like lyrium and magic hummed in the air. Just below the familiar feel of mana was the brick wall of Templar anti-magic. I shuddered at the thought of what could possibly happen in here.

"Aira, come here child." Irving's beard never moved when he spoke which always disconcerted me a little.

I joined him. Inhale, exhale. Calm, I told myself.

"You must go into the Fade and slay a demon, to prove you are able to resist the temptation of their games." At the mention of the Fade, the dream world, goosebumps raised along my arms. Nerves with more than a hint of excitement coursed through my veins.

"Ready," I said, glad that my voice was close to even.

Irving led me to a large bowl of thick, blue liquid. He gestured for me to go ahead.

I reached into the bowl and heard the intake of breath as the mages strained. I smelled the smoky scent of magic filling the room. I felt as though the ground was sucking at my feet and my body crumpled to the floor.


	3. Faded

_Had fun writing this, even more knowing I had a good lyric chosen MONTHS before uploading. :) Read and review!_

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><p><strong>Faded<strong>

_"Where oceans bleed into the sky"- The Catalyst ~ Linkin Park_

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><p>There was quiet. I blinked open my eyes. The sky was grey with vibrant green on the horizon. Tall plants waved in the non-existent breeze<p>

Some demons liked strange things apparently. I felt my panic flooding back at the thought of demons. I was in the Fade in a controlled sector; the mages were watching me carefully and wouldn't let anything bad…too bad happen to me. At that moment I got a grip on myself.

I strode down the path, confidently I hoped. Hills made it impossible to see where I was headed. As I crested one, I spotted a spirit

"Excuse me," I said. Then I got a good look at it. A hulking thing, it had on very spikey armour. Many large swords of many differing styles hung in the air eerily around it.

"Yes?" It had a slow voice, like most Fade beings as I had been taught.

"Did you make all of those?" I asked.

"All of them," it answered. I recognized it as a Valour spirit. "If you fight me, I can give you a gift."

Gifts, Fade beings, benevolent and malevolent, always put a catch on them, In this case, a fight.

"Alright," I agreed, might as well try.

We sized each other up as I snatched my staff off my back.

With a loud battle cry that rattled my teeth, the Valour charged. I used a simple ice spell and froze it solid. I managed to get in a few staff bursts before it thawed. The Valour flicked its sword almost lazily at my arm with its long sword. I backed up quickly, trying to evade the long arm reach. I tried an energy drain which fizzled out pathetically. There was a searing pain as the spirit landed a blow to my shoulder. I jabbed it in the side with the butt of my staff out of desperation.

"Enough!" the Valour boomed. "You win."

I heaved a sigh of relief. "My gift?"

A large gauntleted hand weighed heavy on my head. The gash on my shoulder healed and I suddenly knew where I had to go.

"Thank you," I breathed. The spirit bowed its great helmeted head in return.

I spun and continued down the path. I walked for a short time. The landscape didn't change at all. Hills rolled by but the strange plants stayed the exact same distance away.

"Pssst!"

My head whipped around. I looked down and saw a mouse. What…?

"Hey!" The mouse turned into a mage.

My eyes almost leaped out of my head.

"I used to be a human," said the young man.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I took too long. I tried to get out but the Templars killed me. Don't you feel the blades pressed against your throat? Can't you feel the time slipping away from you?" demanded the mouse-mage. "I want to help you."

"Fine, come along."Company again, that made my decision easy. "What's your name?"

"Mouse is good enough for me," he said with a hint of pride.

I set off again, this time with Mouse half a step behind. Neither of us spoke after that. I don't know how long the silence had stretched when I saw it, a huge blood-stained bear with spikes growing out of its pelt. It was lying with its head resting on two massive forepaws.

"Who…is that? Mouse? Who is…this?" The bear talked painfully slowly.

"How is it that you are a bear?" I blurted out.

"I…learned a while…ago," the demon said vaguely.

"Co-could I learn that too Bear?" asked Mouse interestedly.

The demon didn't seem to hear. Mouse and I stood for a time.

Just as I was about to suggest leaving, the bear answered, "I'll make you a deal: Answer three riddles correctly and I will teach Mouse, fail and I will devour you both."

"Deal." I was good at riddles.

"I have seas with no water, coasts with no sand, towns with no people, mountains with no land. What am I?" asked the demon-bear.

"A map," I answered lazily, that riddle was an old favourite of mine.

"Correct, let's move on. My second riddle: I am rarely touched but often held if you have wit, you'll use me well. What is it?"

"Tongue!" I blurted.

"Yes, correct…again. Often I will spin a tale, never will I charge a fee. I'll amuse you and entire eve but, alas, you won't remember me. What am I?"

"A… huh. I don't know, a spider?" I guessed.

"No, a dream is the correct answer. Now you shall... die."

The hulk of a bear heaved itself to its paws as I swore loudly to myself. I hit the demon on the head with my staff before it had a chance to take a swipe at me with reinforced claws. Mouse had vanished, darting about the paws of the bear as his namesake.

I used a fireball spell on the demon and a small section of fur caught fire on its chest. The flames licked across the broad shoulders as a paw flashed out and caught my arm. Pins and needles raced from forearm to shoulder.

"Andraste's bloody knicker-weasels!" I swore again.

I threw a small hailstorm at the bear-demon then. The fire hissed out as the demon roared with pain and fury.

"No more!" roared the bear.

Mouse scrambled back to my side as a man again.

I healed my arm and the scratches began to fade instantly. The pounding ache in the shoulder the Valour had wounded receded as the blue sparks played up around the injury.

"Mouse, come…here. I will teach you now." The demon sounded weary. Mouse walked to stand before the bear who pressed its nose to his chest.

"Let's go, Mouse," I said cautiously.

He nodded quickly as we left the bear-demon behind. Not fast enough though.

"See you around 'Mouse,'" said the demon smugly.

Since the path hadn't let us down yet, I decided to keep following it. A short amount of time later we emerged from the hills to a flat, open space ringed in by the slopes. Where my demon waited.

"Mouse, now is probably a good time to try out your new bear shape," I hissed.

When I turned to look at him, an exact copy of the bear-demon was standing at my shoulder. The demon, and ugly Rage with a body like a mound of freshly hardening lava, spotted me.

"Kill…" it rumbled.

"Ice for fire every time," I recited the rule for Rages. I called up another hailstorm to torment the demon.

The demon howled in defiance. Mouse lunged at it, slicing an arm with a well-aimed blow. The demon's other flailing arm landed on my back.

I gasped in pain and healed myself quickly. I focused on my staff as I'd been taught; a copper spark sprang from the head and crashed right in the center of the barrel chest. The Rage screamed and melted into the ground defeated.

"Whew! Good job!" Mouse bounced excitedly around. "Can you take me with you?"

I knew nothing could be done about the dead mage and I could feel my face trying to arrange itself into a sympathetic expression.

"Please, with your help I can get a foothold in your world."

"'A foothold in _my world_?' What are you?" I exclaimed.

"Way in, way back to _our_ world," amended Mouse hastily.

"What. Are. You?" I growled.

Mouse huffed and rolled his eyes. Then he began to grow. I tilted my head back to watch his transformation. Mouse morphed into a large Pride demon.

Before anything could happen, however, I felt myself sucking into the ground. I was waking up! The last thing I saw was the demons icy, steel-grey eyes.

Then I was blinking awake to Irving's face.

"Congratulations, Aira. I welcome you as a full mage of the Circle of Magi," the First Enchanter said. And then I knew no more.

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><p><em>'A hint of pride'? Wow, I forgot I'd written that. That was a hint by the way, Mouse is a Pride demon as you can see above. Press the REVIEW button, you know you wanna! :D<em>


	4. Duncan

_Share and enjoy :) Don't worry, Aira doesn't pass out at the end of this chapter! Celebrate! Lyric? Just wait. If you've ever played Amell or read an Amell origins fic, you'll know why I chose this._

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><p><strong>Duncan<strong>

_"Up in flames/we have gone" - Up In Flames ~ Coldplay_

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><p>I felt a rush of pride as I sat up on my bed. I had fallen asleep right after Irving said his formal greeting.<p>

"Hey." Jowan was there.

"Hi, Jowan," I responded.

"I-um…Congratulations. Do you want a hand to, you know, move your things into the senior mages quarters?" Jowan sounded eager to explore the full mages' chambers.

"No, thanks for the offer though." I wanted to be alone, to let everything sink in.

"I feel like I'm never going to have my own Harrowing." Of course Jowan didn't know I wanted solitude.

"I am sure you'll have it soon enough," I assured him.

"What was it like?"

"I can't tell you and I am really sorry," I replied.

"Irving wants to see you," he said, jealousy shining through his falsely happy tone.

I stood up. "In his study?"

Jowan nodded once. I left the room.

I walked back to the stairs. Then, I slowly climbed them. On the next floor, the study was at the end of the hall that curled around the stockroom.

I heard voices floating from the First Enchanter's study. Irving was one, but I didn't know the other.

I walked right in, rather rudely. I knew it was rather naїve but I wanted to catch more of the conversation.

Irving stood between his desk and the bookcase running the circumference of the circular room. Beside him was a tall, brown-haired man with deeply tanned skin, Rivaini down to the shape of his eyes. He wore a silverite chainmail armour set with a robe of very bright white. His long hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Ahhh, there you are," said Irving. "Aira, this is Duncan, he is a Grey Warden. Duncan, this is the Circle's newest senior mage, Aira Amell."

"Well met, Duncan of the Grey Wardens," I said formally.

"Well met, Aira," he responded, voice rich and kindly.

"Please show Duncan to a room. He will be staying for the night." Irving looked at me evenly.

"Of course," I replied as I bowed my head.

I turned to the door and found Gregoir. I wondered briefly how I had missed him. His face was red and his eyes sparked furiously.

I led the Warden to the stockroom. The room I figured Duncan would be using was on the far side of the utility room were supplies were kept under guard. The Templars and the Chantry seemed to think we mages liked to run around with fire rods, burning down the curtains or something.

Entering the stockroom, my required greeting to the Templar guard died on my tongue. Instead of a suited statue there was a man with very short black hair wearing an apprentice robe.

"Hello. My name is Owain. Did you need something from the stockroom." The should-have-been question was flat and expressionless.

"Pleased to meet you," I said, weighing the sentence carefully. "I didn't need-"

"Pleased. I am unfamiliar with this emotion now," interrupted Owain. "I feel nothing now."

"Sorry, I didn't know that," I had a sneaking suspicion I knew exactly what the deal was with Owain, but I wanted to be certain before recounting this story to Finn and Jowan.

"Do not be sorry. I no longer have the capacity to be offended. I am Tranquil."

"See you around, Owain." I wanted to get away suddenly. Tranquils were made by Templars as a way to salvage mages too frightened to go through with their Harrowing or were considered high-risk to become abominations. They claimed Tranquils had increased thought capacity due to their lack of emotions. Kinloch Hold had many Tranquils working to enchant with runes or organize the lamps in the lower levels of the Tower.

I crossed the room. Every available space was covered in every item mages could possibly need. I opened the door on the other side.

"Thank you, Aira," said Duncan.

"What is a Grey Warden?" I blurted out. Nice, tact in the future?

"The Wardens protect against darkspawn," Duncan answered seriously.

"I thought darkspawn were gone?"

"No, they are always around, in the Deep Roads mainly; they only come aboveground during Blights." The Warden looked troubled. "They are now."

"Is it a Blight then?" I wondered.

"There must be and Archdemon for it to be a true Blight. So far, we haven't been aware of one."

"I should go." I bowed my head and left the room.

On my way back to the apprentice quarters to collect my things, I heard worried voices in the chapel. When I entered I saw Jowan and a priestess standing together, deep in conversation.

"-don't know when. I told you!" Jowan sounded very stressed.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"I found out -well, Lily did- why I haven't had my Harrowing yet. Irving's going to make me Tranquil!" Jowan gestured wildly at the priestess.

"You're certain?" I queried.

"I saw the note on Irving's desk this afternoon," announced Lily, which raised several warning flags in my mind.

"What will you do?" I demanded.

"I will destroy my phylactery, run away." Jowan had a stubborn look on his face.

Phylacteries, blood samples Templars used to keep tabs on mages, were downstairs, mixed together to confuse mages looking for theirs, just one more example of how stupid the Chantry believes mages to be.

"Say you'll help us," begged Jowan.

"I'll have to think about this," I said. Tell Irving more like.

"Don't take too long!" called Lily as I left the room.

"_Don't take too long!_" I mocked to myself. As if I was going to leave this in the back of mind and forget all about one of my best friends.

I hurried back to Irving's room. "First Enchanter, Jowan thinks you're going to use the Rite of Tranquility on him!" I said as I ripped the door open.

"So that's why Lily hurried out," mused Irving. He didn't deny it.

"He wants me to help him destroy his phylactery," I said, "what should I do?"

"I will get everyone out of the basement," promised Irving.

"Why are you making him a Tranquil?" I had to know.

"Jowan has been practicing blood magic."

Strictly forbidden, blood magic was punishable by death, that Irving had talked Gregoir into keeping him alive at all was a wonder. I kept trying to see Jowan as a maleficar, but had trouble doing so. It looked too terrible.

"I'll do it," I announced as I walked into the room Lily and Jowan had been waiting anxiously.

"Let's go then," said Lily, her blue eyes troubled.

"Everything will be alright." Jowan stroked the priest's hair. I was wondering why when it suddenly occurred to me. They were in love, another reason for Jowan to run.

The three of us descended to the very bottom level of the Tower were the phylacteries were kept.

"It sure is quite down here," stated Jowan.

Panic flared for a moment. "I think it's shift-change," I tried hopefully.

"Me, too," said Lily. I sighed with relief.

It was cold in the basement. Fog rolled around at knee-height, cloaking the floor. After an encounter with a strange statue that claimed it was from Tevinter and waiting for the one searching for something called and eluvian, we reached the phylactery room.

Every horizontal surface was covered in small vials of blood. Goosebumps had risen on my arms. I couldn't tell whether they were from the temperature, the mood it gave off or what we were doing that caused them.

And just what was I doing? I was turning in a best friend who turned out to be a blood mage. I wondered what Anders would say had he been with us. He would either wring Jowan's neck for being a maleficar, wring my neck for turning in Jowan or shake his head in disgust and leave us to it. Or help.

"There it is!" Jowan exclaimed out of the blue, making Lily and I start. He reached out for a bottle like all the rest. Even though I didn't even want to know where mine was, I could feel it, almost like a half-forgotten tune, drawing me from its place against the wall to the left.

By now, Jowan held his at arm's length. He took a deep breath and released it. I heard it smash against the floor. The room filled with the tinkling of glass settling.

"Let's get out of here," I suggested. "I doubt that no one heard that."

"Yes, let's go Jowan," Lily agreed as she rubbed her arms.

The three of us turned to the stairs. I took a deep breath of my own and assured myself this had to happen. I led the way upstairs. I didn't know what Irving had planned, but there was no way I was standing behind anyone.

"Lily, are you by chance going with Jowan?" I asked loudly as we neared the landing. I wanted Irving to be ready and I was nosy.

"Yes," said Lily hesitantly as she turned the colour of red peppers.

I opened the door to see Irving, Gregoir, a handful of Templars and, oddly enough, Duncan.

Jowan stopped short in the doorway beside Lily. He looked at me, green eyes full of betrayal and hate. Anger crawled across his face.

"Lily, down!" I called before dropping to the floor myself.

Jowan held a knife in one hand and was bleeding, his lips moving as he whispered a spell. Blood spattered Irving and the Templars. Duncan managed to stay clean. Everyone touched with Jowan's blood was thrown against to the floor with a loud clanking and thudding.

"Jowan," Lily shouted in equal parts dismay and fear "you _are_ a blood mage!

"I-dabbled," Jowan forced out before darting to the door. I watched, frozen to the floor.

And Jowan was gone. I wondered how he was going to get to the docks as the Tower was in the middle of Lake Calenhad.

I stood up and helped Irving climb to his feet.

"Lily, you may go," he dismissed the priest.

She nodded and said only, "I leave for the Chantry. I am sorry."

"I think not," thundered Gregoir as he extricated himself from another Templar and attempted to rise from the floor. "You are going to Aeonar for aiding a blood mage."

She hung her head, accepting her sentence at the Chantry jail for mages and priests. Then she, too, was gone.

"You_ knew_ this would happen!" roared Gregoir.

"I didn't know it would end this way," answered Irving calmly.

"I wasn't speaking to _you_," snarled the knight-commander.

I bowed my head. "I did what I thought to be right." I dared him to argue.

"Rite of Tranquility might do," I heard a Templar at the back of the crowd mutter.

"If I may, I invoke the Right of Conscription." Duncan spoke for the first time.

"Huh?"

"I apologize, Duncan, old friend, what do you mean?" asked Irving.

"I will take this mage with me to Ostagar to make her a Grey Warden."


	5. Recruit

_Arcade Fire is a great Canadian band. Listen to them. Now! And enjoy their music. Now, I love how all this fits so well on paper. Mostly BioWare in this chapter. Lots of game-dialogue, but we're getting there. A few more chappies and we'll be under my control. Mostly._

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><p><strong>Recruit<strong>

"_If I was scared I would... Now I'm ready to start"- Ready to Start ~ Arcade Fire_

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><p>That was what I thought about while Duncan and I travelled south-east to Ostagar, an army camp on the edge of the Korcari Wilds in the Hinterlands. The four-day trip was quiet; we met no one on the road and spoke very little. I learned only that Duncan was Ferelden's Warden Commander and two other recruits, not yet full Wardens, waited for us to go take their Joining.<p>

As I contemplated becoming a Grey Warden and Jowan's escape, I took in the world around me. Wind was no stranger as the windows in the Tower were always being opened by mages. Templars used to run about attempting to close as many as possible, much to their annoyance, apprentices and Enchanters alike got in on the act and often charmed windows to stay open until the Templar all but ripped the handle off in anger. Wind was not new to me, but frost was. It was like a freeze spell had covered everything in a thin glittering film that melted away at the slightest heat.

'New to me' wasn't quite the right phrase though, I knew all about frost. I had spent seven Circle-free years before I was locked away. It was like rediscovery actually. Remembering.

I learned Ostagar was where King Cailan, one of Ferelden's monarchs, an army of men and the Fereldan Wardens were camped. The war party had engaged a few groups of darkspawn already.

The other recruits Duncan had found were both men. Human men. He was mildly surprised to learn I was an elf. At just over 5'3'' I was average for a human girl at my age of 17 years. Duncan's mistake wasn't an uncommon one for I liked to cover my ears with my shoulder-length brown hair held back in two small braids that joined at the back and looped together.

We passed two guards and I got my first glimpse of Ostagar. First, most of the old ruin was surrounded stone walls. Second, a sharp spire pierced the sky, the Tower of Ishal.

Duncan led the way to the place where the walls ceased to form a natural entrance to the ancient city.

We barely crossed the threshold when we met two men. One had long, black hair that was mostly held back away from his face by his shoulderguards. Stands that hung down had been braided and framed his sharp, angular place. A scowl had drawn his heavy brows together, almost obscuring his cold, flint-sharp blue eyes. He had on highly polished silver plate armour and moved with the grace of a hunter. His footfalls were light, as though he still tracked his quarry.

The other man was almost the polar opposite of the first man. He had blue eyes but that was the end of the similarities. His blond hair was down with two braids sweeping from each temple. His face was soft, with eyes smiling and mouth grinning widely. Where the first one was pale, he was well-tanned as though he spent his whole life in the sun. His eyes were a brilliant hue of blue and had smile lines around his lips. His armour was gold. This was the King.

"Duncan!" the King shouted enthusiastically.

"Cailan, Your Majesty," greeted the Warden Commander.

"You have returned at last," said the scowling man.

"Teryn Loghain," said Duncan with less feeling.

Introductions quickly flew about.

"A Blight means we need more Wardens," Duncan spoke after the human lords knew who I was.

"I'm not sure this is even a true Blight," stated Cailan skeptically.

"Disappointed, my Lord?" asked Duncan.

"I was hoping for a battle like one of the tales; an army riding against a corrupted god, the fabled Grey Wardens at my side, but I guess this will have to do." The King turned and walked a ways away from the rest of us.

"You have met the darkspawn three times," said the Warden, evidently trying to soothe the king.

"We have easily beaten them three times," Cailan petulantly countered.

"We have not seen or heard tell of an archdemon, Duncan," Loghain chipped in.

Cailan was already leaving; Loghain followed him in a flurry of cloak. Duncan sighed

"Go and rest for a bit if you wish. When you are ready for the Joining ritual, go to Alistair. He is on the other side of the camp, up the steps," Duncan threw over his shoulder as he followed the two other men.

I knew I just stood there with my mouth agape, staring around. I shook myself then began poking around. Ostagar was split in two by a chasm, a large bridge spanning the gap. Nothing interesting was on my side, so I chased the three humans to the other side.

On the other part of the camp were tents. The King's, Teryn's… many. Every colour and most reasonable sizes covered this half.

I kept walking. When I heard barking I began looking for the source. Not long after, I saw the kennels. A very worried man stood outside the pens.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"One of the dogs swallowed some darkspawn blood," sighed the man. "He needs medicine and I need to muzzle him so he can't infect anything else."

"I could muzzle it for you," I offered.

The man's eyes lit up. "Just be careful."

I took the leather thing from the man and opened the door. I began to worry about getting the muzzle on. I'd never done anything like this before.

A barrel-chested hulk of a dog waited for me. The dog's head was the size of a large watermelon and came up to my waist. Tiny triangular ears looked almost comical perched on top of the huge beast. The back sloped steeply from broad shoulders to hips. The upper legs and arms were bigger around than my thighs and the paws at the end of each limb were the size of dinner plates. The dog's shoulders reached my hips and a thick, heavily muscled neck supported his massive head.

"Hey boy," I said, voice low and soothing. I hoped.

The mabari's head cocked. He gave a low whine. Talking all the while, I put a hand on his neck, then I slid it around to cup his cheek. I slowly slid on the muzzle.

"Good boy," I praised him for not chawing off a finger… or limb.

Hands shaking, I managed to do up the clasp on the dog's restraint. I stood up and beamed at the kennel master. I let myself out of the pen, still smiling.

"Thank you so much," exclaimed the kennel master. "However, I need a flower from the Wilds to really help his chances of surviving. Can you get it for me?"

"I can," I answered. I would get it even if it meant being punished for it.

He described the plant to me and told me to bring it to him as soon as I could.

"Thanks again!" he called as I left.

I saw a circle of tents and behind was a group of mages. I felt the thrum of magic floating in the air. I walked over to a mage.

"I am sorry but you can't go in. Some mages are in the Fade," said an elderly woman.

"Of course, I apologize, Wynne," I said.

Wynne nodded and turned away, beyond her stood a Tranquil who was staring off into space eerily.

On the other side of the ring of mages was a merchant. I decided to see if I could purchase anything from him.

"Hey elf, where's tha' armour?" shouted the merchant.

"I'm sorry; I am here to become a Grey Warden. Duncan brought me here, I'm not a servant," I explained.

"Oh, uh… sorry miss." The man had turned a violent vermillion.

I turned away. "Maybe you should be a little nicer to your help?"

The man miraculously blushed even harder at that and nodded mutely.

I continued wandering. "Where in Thedas is this Alistair?" I muttered to myself.

As I rounded a corner, I saw a man in old splintmail and a dark-skinned mage I recognized, but forgot the name of. The soldier was gesturing wildly at the mage. I figured I should probably help sort the issue out.

"What is it now? Haven't the Grey Wardens asked enough of the Circle?" asked the mage tiredly.

"I simply came to deliver a message from the Revered Mother, Ser Mage. She desires your presence," answered the man.

"What Her Reverence desires is of no concern to me. I am busy helping the Grey Wardens, by the King's orders I might add!"

"Should I have asked her to write a note?" asked the man cheekily.

"Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!" The mage was clearly infuriated by this man.

"Yes, I was harassing you by delivering a message," replied the man, sarcasm oozing from every word.

"Your glimpness does you no credit."

"Here I thought we were getting along so well! I was even going to name one of my children after you… the grumpy one!" the man seemed to enjoy riling the mage.

"Enough, I will speak to the woman if I must. Get out of my way fool," sighed the mage in defeat.

I ducked behind a pillar to escape being seen by the mage. He passed my hiding place, muttering darkly to himself. When he was gone, I emerged and climbed the steps to talk to the armoured man.

"You know, the one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," he said.

"You are a very strange human," I announced.

"It's like a party; we can all stand in a circle and hold hands. That would give the darkspawn something to think about!" chuckled the man. "Wait, we haven't met, have we? You wouldn't happen to be another mage?"

"Would that make your day worse?" I asked. I was glad to meet someone at last who appreciated my humor.

"I don't know. Hang on, your Duncan's new recruit right? I'm Alistair."

I felt relieved. I was beginning to think I'd never find him. I took a close look at the Grey Warden.

Alistair had short, sandy brown hair that was pushed off his forehead. Small sections flopped back down in a way that suggested he liked looking slightly messy. His brown eyes held a twinkle, as though he was on the verge of laughing at the world. A light stubble covered his chin. A sword was sheathed on his back and the hilt peeked over his left shoulder. A heavy shield with the heraldry of the Templars covered the rest of his back. Sure enough, I could feel some anti-magic in the air, though not much. It was strange to see he didn't wear Templar uniform.

"Aira, mage of the Circle of Magi," I introduced myself warily.

"Have you met the others yet?" asked the Warden his voice still light.

I shook my head. "Duncan and I only just arrived."

"Let's go then."

Alistair led the way to where Duncan stood with two men. One was tall with black hair, the other short with a goatee and short-shaved, dark hair.

"There you are, I was just wondering if I'd have to go looking for you two," Duncan said as Alistair moved to stand next to the Commander. "Alistair, I will remind you again that the Wardens cannot afford to make enimies."

"What can I say? The Revered Mother jumped me. The way she wields guilt they should stick her in the army," Alistair said reflectively.

"The Revered Mother forced you to sass the mage, did she?" Duncan asked sarcastically. "I repeat, we cannot afford to antagonize any of our allies."

Alistair bowed his head and apologized. Then he flashed me a wink.

"Daveth, Ser Jory, this is Aira the last recruit from the Tower of Magi," said Duncan. "You four will go into the Korcari Wilds and collect three vials of darkspawn blood; one for each of you. You will also recover the treaties of the Grey Wardens left in an outpost in the Wilds."

"Why does Alistair have to come?" asked the tall one.

"To make sure you complete the tasks. His skills will also be helpful, Daveth." The Warden Commander looked as though he was hiding something.

"Why were the treaties left in the Wilds?" I asked.

"It was anticipated that someone would retrieve them. A seal was placed on them so only a Grey Warden can read them," replied Duncan.

"Let's go then," said Alistair cheerfully.

"Good luck." Duncan was solemn.

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><p><em>Wake up people! Alistair's hair is learly brown. NOT BLOND. He is also not a female, so his hair isn't BLONDE either. There is a difference. Wow, I can see my house from up on this soapbox!<em>


	6. Darkspawn Blood

_Read. Share and enjoy! VIOLENCE! Warning. _

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><p><strong>Darkspawn Blood<strong>

_"I'm on the frontline, don't worry I'll be fine the story is just beginning" - Diamond Eyes ~ Shinedown_

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><p>I fell into step beside Daveth. "So, what's your story?"<p>

"I was a thief. A damn good one," said Daveth.

"How did you meet Duncan then?" I asked.

"Cut his purse, he may be old, but he can still run for an old bugger. I was on the verge of being dragged off by the garrison to hang and Duncan Conscripted me. Managed to give the garrison the finger while we was walking away. Jory was already here when I arrived." A slightly wistful note crept into the rogue's voice, as if he missed picking pockets in the city.

"And you, Jory?"

"Knight of Redcliffe, married with a child soon. My wife is in Highever, awaiting my return. I have leave from Arl Eamon to join her when I am ready." The knight swelled with pride. "Duncan asked me to join the Wardens when he watched me win a tournament."

By now we had reached the edge of camp and Alistair was speaking to the guard. The sentry nodded and opened the door, letting us pass.

"So," began Daveth. "What about you?"

I was forming the words to recount my story but my breath caught in my throat. From our place on the hill I could see trees for miles. "Wow," I breathed instead.

Daveth and Ser Jory looked then too. Their faces arranged into twin looks of awe.

"Come along, children," smirked Alistair.

I grabbed the men's arms and dragged them forward down the hill. As we descended the slope I told the others about myself. I told them about how I wasn't supposed to remember my last name as mages can't inherit titles, how I barely remembered my parents because they both died before I went to the Tower at age seven. I informed them about Jowan, and our friends, and the phylactery incident.

I had just finished when Alistair turned back to us from point position.

"Something ahead?" asked Daveth.

"Darkspawn." Alistair's face was a grim mask. The men drew swords and I grabbed my staff off my back. We had continued cautiously down the overgrown path, me marveling at the trees and the mossy forest floor, when we saw it.

Bodies littered the ground. Blood pooled in every shallow dip in the ground. The stench of death and something musty rolled through the air.

Suddenly, a movement caught my eye. A soldier, covered in blood and gore, was dragging himself along the ground.

"Have to… return…to camp," he gasped.

"Do you need help?" I asked, concerned he wouldn't get that far.

"A bandage… would be… enough."

Ser Jory felt in his bag for a roll of gauze. He produced the bandages a heartbeat later.

"What happened?" I asked, wanting to keep the man talking, keep him busy.

"Darkspawn. They… came out of the ground."

Ser Jory straightened. Daveth and I helped the injured soldier to his feet and watched him hobble into the trees in the direction of camp.

Just as our group turned back down the path in our direction of travel, Alistair stiffened.

And I saw my first darkspawn. It looked more human-like than I had imagined it would. Heavy, patchy armour covered most of the monster. Its head was bare, the skin a dark grey-green. The eyes were a muddy brown and had no white. The mouth grinned at us, baring yellowed, snaggly teeth.

I blasted it square in the face with my staff. Daveth hacked at its back with his sword while Jory attacked its left flank. Alistair barely had time to swing his sword before the monster crumpled to the ground.

I heard something behind me. I whipped around to see five short darkspawn, genlocks, ranged out in a loose wedge. I backpedaled until the men charged past me.

From a better distance I began throwing fireballs at the monsters. Alistair led the attack this time. With Daveth and Jory at his side, he plowed through the ranks of darkspawn. When fire became to risky, I feared hitting my comrades, I switched to staff blasts.

The next thing I knew, all five lay dead and the four of us stood panting. Daveth yanked his sword out of one creature's chest with a noise of disgust. Jory watched, eyes wide. Alistair was the only one who seemed unshaken.

I fumbled through my pack until I found the vials I had grabbed from Duncan back at camp. Then, I knelt beside a darkspawn and curled my lip with distaste. I had to remove a strip of poorly thatched leather armour from an arm to find bare skin and wounds. I pressed a vial to the gash and waited. Daveth watched me with interest. When the glass was almost full of the sticky, brownish blood I put the stopper back in the vial.

Placing my blood in my pack, I tossed the other recruits each a small glass container. They could have a turn too.

"Onward?" Jory asked after he stowed his vial safely.

The three of us nodded and Alistair took point again.

"What's on your arms?" Daveth asked.

I looked down at my forearms. I gazed at the familiar scars. The remainder of blisters ringed the skin from elbow to wrist. Scars connected the dots to form a sloppy wrap-around grid.

I showed the boys as Alistair looked around in interest. Their eyes widened. Knowing I had most of their attention, I began my explanation.

"Last year, I was having a lesson on summoning small creatures." I remembered that day in the library well, a group of apprentices and the Enchanter. "We had to summon wisps. Small, flying things, mostly light, very sharp teeth and tails.

"We had to summon a couple and control it. One girl, who didn't like me-" I continued. The girl, Anne, hated me because I turned her hair green and made it knotty on a dare from Anders. She eventually had to cut most of it off. "-she thought it would be funny to set her four wisps on me.

They had flown at me, buzzing with fury.

"I barely threw my arms before my face when I felt their tails and teeth cutting into me. Then, the girl's friend, wanting to help I suppose, decided to flame them. The first girl ordered her wisps away and the fire bathed my arms.

"Afterwards, Jowan dared me to put lyrium dust and some other magical things on them. I wiped the mixture off and this is what my arms looked like." I showed my scars again. I didn't mention that in retaliation, I'd put a frog in Jowan's bed. Or how much trouble the four of us, Jowan, Anders, Finn and I, used to get up to.

By now our group stood on a hill looking over the ledge, I saw six or seven men hanging.

"Poor sobs. That just seems so excessive," said Alistair.

I turned to climb down the hill but pulled up short when I saw the party of darkspawn waiting for us. A heartbeat later Alistair turned.

I let the others rush by me before whipping life drains into the mess of monsters. One creature broke away from the group, heading right at me. I spun as it charged by and grabbed the back of its hauberk. Grimacing, I shoved a hand down into the armour and breathed the incantation. I pushed it back into the center of the fight.

"Out!" I shouted to the men.

They scrambled away from the darkspawn. Not a moment too soon, when Jory stepped hastily back, the darkspawn I marked blew up. The force of the explosion killed the remaining monsters.

Daveth laughed while Alistair grinned. Jory looked as if he thought I might give him the same treatment.

This time, Daveth crouched to collect blood. When he was done, we moved on.

Daveth entertained us for a time with his adventures as a thief and con artist. When Alistair interrupted us, we fell silent.

"We are very close to the outpost. There is usually a fair few darkspawn around here," he said.

Sure enough, a small band showed up as soon as the words left the Warden's mouth.

In went Jory, Daveth and Alistair. I was about to help when I noticed the other one. Standing back, this specimen had a spikey headdress. It threw bolts of energy at me. I lobbed a fireball in return and we traded hits. The energy hit me in the side, a glancing blow. My whole arm went suddenly numb and the same side of my back spasmed. The next fireball hit the darkspawn full in the face, engulfing the patchy leathers in seconds. Nothing was left.

A cry of pain snapped my attention back to the fray. Daveth was on the ground, clutching at his chest

Jory dispatched a final monster with a blow from the pommel of his sword to the spawn's helmet.

I was the first to the rogue's side, his gash bleeding heavily. I muttered the words of a healing spell and the flesh knit together. Alistair patted my back, reminding me of my own injury. In a second, my left arm, side and back returned to normal.

Jory wandered over to us and offered a grin. Daveth was the first to respond, my face quickly followed. Alistair just rolled his eyes.

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><p><em>Always did wonder why mages had the funky arm-thang going on... here's my take on it.<em>


	7. Four Grey Wardens Walk Into the Wilds

_New and improved! Thanks to all who have supported this venture thus far: MapleMaven, Rose Tinted Contact Lenses, MiiYuKira, Faeury, I can't say how much your reviews mean to me! _

_There's gotta be a punchline here somewhere..._

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><p><strong>Four Grey Wardens Walk into the Wilds…<strong>

_"Don't mess around with your tricks" - Black Magic Woman ~ Santana_

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><p>Our group entered the building. The clearing was bordered on all sides by rubble. I spotted the chest first. I darted forward to open it. No sooner did I have the key in my hand than I heard her.<p>

"Well, well, what have we here?"

I spun around to follow the sound of her voice.

"Are you a vulture, I wonder? A scavenger poking amidst a corpse whose bones were long since cleaned? Or are you an intruder, coming to these darkspawn-infested Wilds of mine in search of easy prey? What say you? Hmmm, scavenger or intruder?"

The speaker was a woman not much older than Alistair dressed in a leather and feather mess that looked as though she fell into an old trunk to dress herself every morning. She had on long boots and a skirt of long leather strips. Her top was a wide red-brown scarf-like fabric looped around her shoulders, revealing much, held in place with another piece. She also wore a couple heavy metal necklaces and an armband, which was opposite a sleeve, the shoulder adorned with purple-black feathers.

The woman's butter-yellow eyes narrowed in suspicion. Distrust was evident in her wary voice and crossed arms.

"We came to the tower to recover some documents," I answered, surprised Alistair didn't make any move to comment.

"'Tis a tower no longer, the Wilds have clearly claimed this desiccated corpse. I have watched your progress for some time" the woman continued. "Where do they go, I wondered, why are they here? And now you disturb ashes none have touched for so long. Why is that?"

"Don't answer her," Alistair said aside to me, "she looks Chasind and that means others may be nearby."

"You fear barbarians will swoop," the woman threw her hands into the air with a flourish, "down upon you?"

"Yes, swooping is bad…" said Alistair slowly.

"She's a Witch of the Wilds, she is. She'll turn us into toads!" put in Daveth.

"Witch of the Wilds such idle fancies those legends. Have you no mind of your own?" scoffed the woman. "You there, women do not frighten like little boys. Tell me your name and I shall tell you mine."

"You may call me Aira," I said calmly.

"And you may call me Morrigan, if you wish. Shall I guess your purpose? You sought something in that chest. Something that is here no longer?"

"You stole them didn't you? Your some kind of…sneaky…witch-thief!" Alistair accused.

"How very eloquent," Morrigan taunted, sarcasm soaking through her words. "How does one steal from dead men?"

"Quite easily it seems," quipped Alistair. "Those documents are Grey Warden property and I suggest you return them."

"I will not for 'twas not I who removed them!" snapped Morrigan. "Invoke a name that no longer means anything here if you wish, I am not threatened."

"Who did then?" I asked

"'Twas my mother, in fact." Now she was smug.

"Your mother?" I gaped.

"Did you think I spawned from a log? Why is it so hard to believe I have a mother?" whined Morrigan.

"Oh, great, she's a funny sort of Witch too." Alistair let out a long sigh.

"Not all in the Wilds are monsters, flowers grow as well as toads," Morrigan said, addressing the forest from which we came. "If you wish, I will take you to my mother. 'Tis not far from here and you may ask her for your papers if you like."

"We should get those treaties, but I dislike this… Morrigan's sudden appearance, it's too convenient," said Alistair in an undertone.

"She'll put us in a pot she will, just you watch," warned Daveth.

"If the pot's warmer than this forest, it'd be a nice change," argued Jory.

"Follow me then, if it pleases you." Morrigan silently headed over the lip of the clearing.

Without another thought I followed the strange Wilder. When I noticed I was the only one who had made any sort of move I turned and rolled my eyes. "Look, if she turns you into a bunch of frogs or whatever, I'll fix you," I joked.

The other three practically tripped over themselves to be the first to prove that wasn't really what he was thinking.

The strange group of Warden recruits and our escort and guide made our way through the Wilds. Morrigan lived in a small clearing bordered on all sides by think swamp and heavy bush. The path we took into the opening with the squat hut closed behind Jory and opened on another side, complete with a string of lights I noticed along the track.

"Greeting Mother, I bring before you four Grey Wardens who-" Morrigan began addressing the old crone watching us from behind a bubbling cauldron.

"I see them girl. Hmmm, much as I expected." Morrigan's mother had messy grey hair that stuck up in the weirdest places and a weathered face. She also wore a rumpled mage's robe.

"Are we supposed to believe you were expecting us?" scoffed Alistair.

"You are required to do nothing, least of all believe. Shut one's eyes tight or open one's arms wide- either way, one's a fool," the crone admonished.

"She's a Witch I tell you, we shouldn't be talking to her!" Daveth exclaimed.

"Quite Daveth! If she really is a Witch, do you want to make her mad?" Jory hissed.

I rolled my eyes. If this kept up, I'd knock him over, dig a hole and stick Jory's head in it. Then fill it in, drop a tree and sit on it for good measure.

"There's a smart lad, sadly irrelevant to the larger scheme of things, but it is not I who decides. Believe what you will," the woman addressed the knight. "And what of you? Does your woman's mind give you a different viewpoint?" she spoke to me again. "Or do you believe what these boys do?"

"I… I'm not sure what to believe," I admitted.

"An answer that holds more wisdom than it implies. So much about you is uncertain, and yet I believe. Do I? Why, it seems I do! What is your name child?"

"Aira, pleased to meet you."

"And I am Flemeth. Such manners! Always in the last place you expect. A bit like stockings," and with that, the old crone bent to survey her own stockings with an air of disdain for the clothing.

"Sooo, this is a dreaded Witch of the Wilds," said Alistair a tad on the sheepish side.

"A Witch of the Wilds, ah? Morrigan must have told you that, she fancies such tales, though she would never admit it," laughed the crone. Morrigan put a hand to her face behind her mother. "Oh how she dances under the moon!" laughed the crone again, hands clasped and head thrown back in mirth.

"They did not come to hear you wild tales, Mother," said Morrigan in exasperation.

"True, they came for their treaties, yes? And before you begin barking, your precious seal wore off long ago." Morrigan's mother grabbed some old scrolls from a pile near the door of the hut and handed them to me. As I passed them off to Alistair she said,"I have protected these."

"YOU- oh, you protected them?" Alistair cut off his angry comment.

"And why not? Take them to your Grey Wardens and tell them this Blight's threat is greater than they realize."

"What do you mean," I frowned.

"Either this Blight's threat is great or they realize less," Flemeth was overcome yet again with laughter. "Oh, do not mind me, you have what you came for."

"Time for you to go then," Morrigan put in.

"Don not be ridiculous girl, these are your guests!"

"Oh, very well, I will show you out of the woods; follow me," said Morrigan, in an exhaustive manner.

Abruptly, Morrigan stalked off. The four of us hurried after the witch. All the way back to the base of the hill Ostagar sat upon, Morrigan made us seem loud and oppressive. All except her and Daveth. He moved with a quiet precision, just as our guide; leaving Jory, Alistair and I to tramp through the heaviest undergrowth, breaking branches and snapping twigs. Cursing as thorns or burrs caught at our clothing. The other two skirted brambles I didn't see until too late and had to untangle myself. They treaded so softly and swiftly they might as well have been shades of the dead.

Not soon enough, Morrigan left us at the gate with only a quick glance at Alistair and me.

With our quest done, I noticed night had fallen. Pushing through the heavy log door, Daveth nodded to the guard. Alistair led us to the bonfire where Duncan stood waiting.

A brief conversation followed during which Duncan was informed of the apostates whom he brushed off as 'not our business.' After, Alistair relieved us of our darkspawn blood, turning it over to Duncan along with the treaties.

"You all have an hour then meet us in front of the statue of the boar beyond the tents," said Duncan. He nodded, dismissing Jory, Daveth and me.

I slowly walked over to the kennel. The master was standing before the dog I muzzled earlier.

"I brought your flower," I said, handing the man the white blooms with deep russet centers I had cut just outside the camp's perimeter.

He showed me how to prepare the medicine. I offered to administer it.

"Tell yeh what, the dog recovers, we'll see 'bout imprintin' him on yeh after the battle. If it goes alrigh' he can be yers," said the man gratefully.

I grinned and let myself into the pen. I stoked the dog's neck and murmured to him quietly. Then I offered him my hand, covered in the medicine. The dog sniffed suspiciously. I urged him to take it. He licked my hand, tongue peeping out comically.

"You really are clueless, boy," I giggled. "There's a good dog."

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><p><em>This and the last chapter reminded me how vehemently I hate Jory. Next up: the Joining! Am having too much fun editing these.<em>


	8. Join Us

_So, you were all confused by some minor things so I fixed most if not all of them. Enjoy the better versions! This is one of my favourite scenes of the game, to play, write and read._

_BioWare owns the characters, plot, places and a good chunk of dialogue. Not me._

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><p><strong>Join Us<strong>

_"That which does not kill, shall serve to make me stronger…"_

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><p>I looked up at the sky. My hour was nearly up. I left the cage and washed my hands. Then, I didn't know where to go, so I loitered about in front of the Tranquil the mages brought. I knew he didn't mind. After a while, I saw Jory and Daveth heading in my direction.<p>

"Hey," I greeted them.

"Hello again," answered Daveth cheerfully.

Jory only nodded, looking pale. The three of us set off after that. A few minutes later, Jory spotted the statue. I inhaled deeply. I could smell lyrium and wondered why that was in the air, but no magical hum.

We walked until we stood in a loose circle, completed by Alistair and Duncan. Candles burned on the table beside a very large goblet Duncan was fussing with.

"The more I hear about this Joining, the less I like," said Jory.

"Are you blubbering again?" demanded Daveth, his voice held a note of scorn and incredulity

"Why all these damned tests? Have I not earned my place?" Jory continued.

"Maybe it's tradition… maybe they're just trying to annoy you?" suggested Daveth meaningfully.

I looked at the two of them. "Oh, calm down." I gave Jory a hard stare. Then I switched my gaze to the Wardens. Alistair chuckled and rolled his eyes while Duncan gave no sign of having heard us, he was still bent over the chalice.

"I only know that my wife is in Highever with a child on the way." The knight looked nervous. "If they had warned me… It just doesn't seem fair."

"Would you have come if they had?" argued the thief. "Maybe that's why they don't. The Wardens do what they must, right?"

"Including sacrificing us?"

"I'd sacrifice a lot more if I knew it would end the Blight," Daveth replied quietly.

"As would I," I added.

Daveth nodded to show he'd taken my answer into consideration. "You saw those darkspawn, ser knight, wouldn't you die to protect your pretty wife from them?" taunted Daveth.

"I-" Jory tried to speak.

"Maybe you'll die, maybe we'll all die. If nobody stops the Blight, we'll all die for sure," Daveth interrupted.

"I've just never encountered a foe I could not engage with my blade," sighed Jory.

Before anyone could add any more, Duncan turned to us.

"At last, we come to the Joining." He looked at each of us recruits evenly. "The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight, when humanity stood on the verge of annihilation, so it was that the first Grey Wardens drank of darkspawn blood… and mastered their taint."

Somehow, I wasn't really surprised by the actual ritual. Daveth seemed calm but Jory's eyes flew wide.

"W-We're going to drink the bl-b-blood of… those… those things?" Jory stuttered.

"As the first Grey Wardens did before us, as we did before you," confirmed the Warden Commander. "This is the source of our power. And our victory."

"Those who survive the Joining become immune to the taint. We can sense it in the darkspawn and use it to slay the archdemon," Alistair put in.

"'Those who survive'?" I gulped. I'd already seen the affects of darkspawn blood with the mabari; why all of a sudden was I so afraid?

"Not all who drink the blood will survive," Duncan replied, his voice even. "This is why the Joining is a secret."

Clearly, somebody in our midst, most likely Jory had asked about the ritual.

"It is the price we pay," Duncan finished. He looked to Alistair. "We say only a few words prior to the Joining, but these words have been said since the first. Alistair, if you would…"

All of our heads swiveled to the other Warden.

"Join us brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice shall not be forgotten and that one day, we shall Join you." Alistair had his head bowed while he spoke so us recruits followed suit.

Duncan picked up the chalice with both hands.

"Daveth," he said, "step forward."

Daveth turned and accepted the proffered blood. As he lifted the goblet to his lips, he glanced at me with a nod. He took an audible gulp before dropping the chalice, which Duncan already had a firm grip on again.

The rouge's hands flew to his forehead as he began to scream. Daveth dropped to his knees while transferring his hands to his throat, as though he were choking. His eyes flew wide, showing only whites.

"Maker's breath!" Jory gasped, backing away.

The ruins were filled with Daveth's fight for air.

"I'm sorry, Daveth," said Duncan.

Daveth collapsed limply onto the stonework floor. Dead.

"Step forward, Jory." Duncan turned to the knight.

I was frozen to the spot, Daveth was strong, he seemed like he would have enjoyed being a Grey Warden. It was clear Alistair had approved of him. I was jolted to the present by the scene abruptly unfolding before me.

"No, there is no glory in this." Jory gestured to Daveth's body as he reached for his longsword.

Duncan replaced the chalice on the table.

"I have a wife… a- a child. Had I known-"

"There is no turning back." Duncan sounded almost… angry.

No, no; you ask too much," Jory's voice shook as he backed away from the Warden Commander.

By now, Duncan held a shortsword in his hand and Jory held his own weapon.

The knight made a few wild swings that Duncan blocked easily. Grabbing Jory by a shoulder, the Commander rammed his sword through the knight's armour and up to the hilt sank into Jory's abdomen.

Blood sprayed onto Duncan's face and plate. "I am sorry," Duncan said simply. The he allowed the body to slump to the floor along with Daveth's. More blood pooled in the grooves between the stonework.

"But the Joining is not yet complete." Duncan turned to me.

I was numb. I felt nothing for the loss of Jory. I had known Daveth only briefly, true we could have been good friends, but I would be fine without him.

Alistair watched me closely and I felt like that was me. I was watching as someone else lifted the chalice of murky brown-red blood to their mouth.

But the smell of the viscous liquid was undeniable. I smelled it. I tasted it as the sticky, slimy, filth filled my mouth. It tasted of metal and bog and dirt. I could feel it sliding down my throat, burning the flesh as it went.

"You are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good." Duncan sounded distant. I could hear him, but only just.

I swallowed hard, forcing the muck down my throat.

"From this moment forward, you are a Grey Warden."

Broken pictures played before my eyes. Darkspawn swarming out of the earth. Surging masses of animals, horribly disfigured from the taint now coursing through my veins. Large darkspawn leading smaller ones. A huge dragon stretching its wings before and emerald sky, roaring in fury. Daveth slumping to the stones. Jory drawing his sword. Looking into blood as it dripped into a vial. More blood, this time Jowan's splattering Gregoir. There was a feeling of being jostled, hot, smothering bodies pressing close on all sides. I felt a panic rising in my chest, a panic that screamed to move, to get away before I was noticed. The dragon searched my face as I stood alone before it. I felt the taint tingling through my body and that of two others very close. I heard strains of the most beautiful song I would ever hear.

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><p><em>Review? Drop me a comment please :) Also, celebrate cause I just watched Jory kack off! And I passed out again...huh, thought I was done with that. - Aira A.<em>


	9. Battle and Death

_Hey guys, Double-update because the second is short and goes along with this chapter. Thaknks for reading, as always. Thanks for putting up with my erratic writing too! I would especially like to thank MapleMaven for reading and reviewing We Can Never Go Home. Thanks for putting up with my sad Loghain oneshots K! I would also like to thank Rose and MiiYu for reading and reviewing my last chapter/s. _

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I'm just a fish living in said pond._

_P.S. For those of you wondering, *cough* Mave *cough cough* the quote at the beginning of my last chapter was paraphrased from Friedrich Nietzsche who also said "He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for too long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you" which appears, as Mave knows, in the opening cinematic of Baldur's Gate I. I love that quote._

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><p><strong>Battle and Death<strong>

_And now you're dead inside, still you wonder why. It's all over for you. – It's All Over ~ Three Days Grace_

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><p>I was blinking awake. Duncan knelt at my side, eyes searching my face. I only barely noticed him. Alistair stood on the other side, bent over. Their eyes reflected some unseen light. I wasn't really looking at him though. Then I realized. I was on my back, looking into the sky. The light in the <em>other Wardens' <em>eyes came from the ghostly white half-moon. _Other Wardens._

I sat up.

"Grmhuffmrr." Maker did that come out of my mouth?

Alistair laughed. Duncan merely shook his head.

"What happened?" I asked, glad I finally recovered speech.

Duncan helped me to my feet while Alistair made no attempt to control his mirth. Duncan watched with an air of disapproval, while I enjoyed being the source of comic relief again.

"'Awful filth' she says! 'Something better tasting'" Alistair choked out, positively screaming with laughter. So I had spoken something intelligible.

"Well, I was only a bit disgusted with that. I don't know about you guys, but that is honestly the _worst_ thing I've ever put in my mouth. And on purpose!" I announced before collapsing back to the ground with hysterical giggles myself.

Duncan sighed and shifted his weight from foot to foot while he tried to think of something prudent to say.

I tried, really tried, a few times to regain myself, but every time I looked at Duncan's stern face of Alistair's contorted with outrageous glee as we attempted to suppress our giddiness, laughter slipped out of my mouth again. I managed to get myself upright again though. If I got a hold on myself, Alistair would only begin howling with hysterics. Finally, we recovered enough control to stare at the grass verge that separated the stone floor from the walls.

"If you've quite finished?" Duncan asked sternly.

A fresh bout of giggles surged up from my chest, but I managed to quash them before they erupted into convulsive laughter again that I knew would have set Alistair off.

"As I was trying to say," continued the older Warden, "we have been invited to attend a meeting regarding the upcoming battle."

"A meeting?" Alistair hadn't acquired enough hold on himself to look at Duncan as he spoke yet.

"The King requested our presence." Duncan looked at us severely. I wondered why since I was still busy trying not to let the giggles out, which was made even trickier with the Commander's gaze boring through me. Alistair was sucking one cheek in, no doubt biting it to keep silent, or at least his mouth shut.

Shaking his head, Duncan lead the way to King Cailan's tent. The guard nodded, eyes clouding when he realized the other two recruits were not with us. Unspoken questions swam deep in his head.

Inside were Teryn Loghain, the King, Wynne and another man I didn't know. Everyone had gathered around a table in the middle of the well-furnished tent.

Furs covered the hard floor, the bed had thick quilts and chairs filled the room, though every occupant stood with their head bent over the table, clearly in the midst of a heated discussion.

Duncan cleared his throat. "Your Grace, I would like to present the new Grey Warden.

Cailan's blond head snapped up.

Loghain whispered something and everyone else filed out by the three of us Wardens.

"Welcome, Aira." Cailan scrutinized my face.

I boxed my head. Duncan nodded to Alistair and I, definitely dismissing us.

I turned and led the way out of the tent. Once we got outside, I began to laugh again. I could hear Alistair doing the same behind me. The two of us giggled until I began to hiccup, which made Alistair's composure crumble once again. Eventually, I stopped. I wiped the tears off my face and took a few deep breaths.

I wandered around, not seeing anything, not taking anything in. Somewhere, I ended up with a bowl of paste with raisins in my hand. Armed with a spoon, I proceeded to wolf it down. I tried to remember the last meal I had. It must have been lunch before entering Ostagar. When I finished, I continued to wander aimlessly. Somewhere between my seat on a fallen log and the King's tent I was relieved of my bowl and utensil.

When I returned to the entrance of the tent, Duncan was just emerging.

"Aira, you will go to the Tower of Ishal during the battle and light the beacon when it is time for Teryn Loghain and his men to join the fight." Duncan studied my reaction.

I nodded, I was glad I wasn't in the battle.

"Alistair, you will accompany her" said Duncan.

"What?" Alistair looked as if he wanted to wring the Commander's neck. Or the King's.

"As the senior Grey Warden, the task really falls to you, not Aira. That is the King's wish," Duncan replied calmly.

"Alright, but if the King asks me to put on a purple dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line, darkspawn or no," sighed Alistair.

"I'd like to see that," I chuckled.

"For you it would have to be a pretty dress," conceded Alistair.

Duncan sighed wearily.

"You have an hour." Duncan said. Then he began spouting directions.

I could sense them. Moving, always moving. If we stopped, we'd get a whipping.

I shook my head to clear it. They, I told myself firmly. I was right here, beside the other Wardens.

Heavy clouds had blown in, covering the stars and moon, making it impossible to tell the time. The fight was about to begin.

"Beautiful night," commented Alistair as we set off for the tower.

"I sure hope you're being sarcastic," I said.

I followed him to our destination. The tower was large by most Fereldan's standards. Unimpressive to us that had grown up in Kinloch Hold. It stood across the bridge, across the chasm were the rest of the camp's soldiers were already situated.

As we crossed the bridge I looked over the side. Lights, torches, filled the ravine. The clamor of metal on metal rose up in a wall, screams pierced the night. Cries of pain curled up to my ears. This was real. People were dying down there.

Alistair reached the tower before me. I caught up to him only to find the way blocked by two burly guards.

"They won't let us in," spat Alistair.

"Darkspawn have taken the tower," argued a guard.

"They'll take more if we don't get in," I said.

"If we don't get _in_, the monsters will come _out. _We end the same." Alistair sounded agitated.

The guards looked at each other.

"Fine, we go with you though," one sighed.

Alistair continued to lead. I brought up the rear. We had just gotten into out of the foyer when Alistair and I sensed them.

It was unreal. Just as it was earlier, it was like I _was _one of them. I felt it tense as it scented us. I knew others laid in wait, covering it.

The guards tackled the first one while Alistair and I concentrated on the rest. The senior Warden hacked viciously with his sword as I shocked one with a bolt of lightning. They must have been touching because the energy sparked from one to its fellows. Singed hair and burning meat rolled through the air, assailing my nose painfully. Bodies hit the floor this several dull _thumps. _Alistair's sword stopped mid-swing.

The guards finished with their monster and stared open-mouthed at the heap of creatures before us.

"Don't put your swords away," I warned.

Our group continued down the hallway. At the far end was a the first flight of stairs. There were four total to climb.

We began making our way up the steps, curving around the tower. I led, bounding ahead of the men.

I sensed a new band of darkspawn just on the other side of the door. I yanked open the door, throwing one that must have been holding the doorknob, into a very surprised Alistair. Life Drains ricocheted off the first darkspawn and landed on the two flanking it. Point creature started looking drowsy then lost consciousness, then slumped. By the time the warriors killed the other two, I felt completely refreshed.

Entering the main part of the floor, we ran straight into another group of spawn. They surrounded us. The guards leapt forward, Alistair off to one side while I burnt a hole in the ranks behind.

I let a bolt of lightning hit square in one monster's face, then bounced another bolt off the darkspawn beside me to hit the one directly across from it in the ring.

I turned, expecting another monster, but they were all dead. One of the guards was pressing a hand to his side and gasping. I quickly healed him.

He thanked me in an awed voice.

"Anyone else?" I asked.

Alistair winced as he held up a hand. I healed his shoulder and we moved off.

We fought down the hall and were in front of the next stairwell. Arriving first at the door again, I closed my eyes, not changing much in the gloom, and tried to sense the darkspawn. When I didn't feel anything I looked to the other Warden who shook his head.

Cautiously, I opened the door. I couldn't stand the smell of rotten meat and mould anymore.

I darted down the hallway to the next, last, stairs. As I climbed the stairs, I felt like something wasn't quite right.

I opened the door, knowing no darkspawn hid behind. That was a bad sign.

The largest ogre I had ever imagined stood beside the lantern. At ten feet tall it was even on the small side. Alistair would easily fit in its massive hands.

The ogre's horned head swung towards us. The behemoth roared as it charged.

I hit it in the shoulder with a paralysis spell which sunk into the thick blue hide. It didn't seem to work so I tried staff blasts. The green sparks targeted the neck, elbows and eyes. Huge claws tore at the spots were the sparks raised blisters.

Alistair and the guards had sliced gaping wounds into the hulking legs, however, six-foot-something humans couldn't reach much higher than the heavily armoured chest. The shins of the monster were laid open to the bone in some places were the men repeatedly struck. Cutting through the armour and thick skin seemed to represent the largest challenge.

Then, the ogre grabbed the quiet guard and lifted him to chest height. It shook him like a ragdoll before throwing him against the wall.

I threw the largest fireball I could manage at the ogre's chest before it could seize anyone else. Flame bloomed across the barrel chest, licking up the ogre's neck and down its arms and body.

Alistair bashed savagely with his shield at the ogre while the remaining guards hacked away mercilessly at the waist. The ogre growled in agony.

I sprinted up to make contact to cast Walking Bomb. As I reached out, a massive, meaty hand closed around me, squeezing the wind out of me. Right when I expected to fly into the wall, I was released. I dropped to the ground, something snapping sickeningly. Pain raced along my back. I mumbled a healing spell and stood to see Alistair rip his sword out of the ogre's skull.

I healed the others again. I thought for a heartbeat. We were late in lighting the fire. I lobbed a fireball into the huge lantern and the beacon lit up the ravine. I could see a mass of ordered soldiers. But they were heading in the opposite direction they should have been. Loghain was pulling out. Loghain abandoned us.

I the ravine, the battle was going badly. Dark patches showed were the king's men still fought. Very small patches was all that was left on the plain between the cliffs.

I whipped around, darkspawn poured through the doors and filled the room in seconds. I was aware of Alistair beside me. I flung spell after spell but I was beginning to fatigue. The battle with the ogre on top of the darkspawn bands earlier had taken a lot. Already my eyes were narrowed in exhaustion. As each monster fell, another sprang into the gap.

I sensed them all around us. Behind us, out of the corner of my eye I could see one with a hefty shield creeping up on Alistair. I saw it whack him across the back of his head. I knew I was next, but I couldn't cast any more, my arms hung limply at my sides. I saw an explosion of tiny stars as pain blossomed along the base of my skull. I sank to the ground. As my eyes closed, I saw a flash of feathers and pale yellow eyes.

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><p><em>Yup, Alistair and Aira just had a spazz attack after the Joining. And she passed out again. Last time for a long time though... I promise!<em>


	10. Alistair Awakens

_Second dose. This is a sililoquy of sorts from everybody's favourite Templar! Poor guy. Share and Enjoy! Errm... review too!_

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><p><strong>Alistair Awakens<strong>

_If you feel so empty, so used up so let down…So get up. Let's start a riot! – Riot ~ Three Days Grace_

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><p>Pain ebbed. I was lost. Alone. No other song was there to harmonize. They were gone. Who would be the first to notice? When? How long would I –<em>we<em> – have to go on?

I forced myself to think about something else. She hadn't awoken yet. The witches went into the hut every once in a while. There would be a hushed exchange and I would be glared at.

Duncan was gone. Nothing numb. Start smaller then. We lost, the thought hurt like a bruise. Loghain abandoned us, dirty bastard. Cailan was dead, ouch, that hurt like a deep cut. We were alone in the Wilds, slight rawness. The Wardens were dead, Sprain. Duncan was dead, broken bone. The only other Warden had been unconscious for a day already, smashed ribcage. I couldn't hear the song and wouldn't for a long time, I might as well be on fire, the thought hurt so badly.

"She will recover."

"She is awaking."

Some pain eased from my constricted chest.


	11. Alone

_I felt bad at dangling that carrot at you guys, even though we all know what happens next. And it's a short chapter I needed an excuse to stop studying. Hope you enjoy it, and Mave likes the small changes I made! Really, give this whole song, check that, album a listen to. I love it! Best songs in a long time, these! Also, they will crop up later on, and make more sense if you understand them ;D_

_Read and review! Share and enjoy! Whatever._

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><p><strong>Alone<strong>

_This hallway's dark and empty... How can I instill such hope but be left none of my own. What is I could sing just one song, it would save somebody's life...If I could save just one life, then I would sing all that I could sing - Hope for now ~ City and Colour_

My head and several other places throbbed. Definitely an arm and my side. I sat up slowly and opened my eyes. I immediately regretted doing that at the same time since the room was brightly lit from a window. And spinning around my too fast. After a short moment, my vision cleared and I saw that I was in a small room, one window from which streamed the offensively bright sun. I could see a small chunk of very dense brush as well.

The bed I was sitting in was against the wall opposite the door. Another bed was pushed to the wall off to my left. I could smell smoke coming lazily from outside.

I stood, another bad idea as I swayed uncertainly for a heartbeat or two as the room spun crazily again. I stumbled across to the door, noticing apart from the beds and two chests, it was mostly bare. A fire crackled in the grate and a shelf was laden with drying herbs but other than that, it was unadorned.

I opened the door to find Flemeth, Morrigan and Alistair. He looked strange out of his splintmail. Plain. Unadorned.

"Ah, there she is now," croaked Flemeth like a skinny, oversize toad.

"What happened," I mumbled. Thinking that there had been entirely too much passing out and being knocked out lately.

"Morrigan saved you. She was watching and saw you fighting the darkspawn. She rescued you two and brought you here under my instructions," answered the withered old crone.

"You're okay," Alistair sounded extremely relieved. The tear streaks on his cheeks and red-rimmed eyes did not escape my notice. "I thought you were dead for sure." Not adding what we both heard, _too._

I just about began to cry right then and there. "I saw the darkspawn knock you out. I was sure we were both dead," I replied around the lump in my throat.

"'Tis heartwarming for certain, however, you must go soon," interjected Morrigan.

"Morrigan will accompany you." Flemeth was straight.

"Whoa! I don't-" Alistair began loudly.

"Mother-!" Morrigan cut across him.

"Thank you," I shouted aver both of the others with a glare. "At least this way there's someone who won't kill us with their cooking."

I was only joking, but Alistair turned a violent shade of vermillion and looked away uncomfortably. Morrigan raised her eyebrows and choked back a cackle. Only Flemeth didn't look ruffled by my comment.

"O-okay… not funny," I added, breaking the silence apart from Morrigan's snorting.

"The others are gone," said Alistair dismally.

"Yes, Loghain pulled out of the fight," I said somberly.

The Warden's face creased in disgust. I knew what he was thinking; if Loghain had fought, we wouldn't be here. If Loghain had fought, Duncan and Cailan would be alive. And the other Wardens.

"We must leave now if we are to reach Lothering before next season," Morrigan broke into my thoughts. She sounded annoyed.

"Lothering?" I asked.

"'Tis a village on the other side of the Wilds," she explained. "We will go there to purchase supplies."

"'Other side of- we'd have to go through the darkspawn!" exclaimed Alistair incredulously.

"Two Grey Wardens cannot venture into woods where darkspawn camp? Very well," conceded the witch as Alistair purpled with rage and opened his mouth to retort a hot reply, "we can go around them."

"Thank you," I said earnestly, directing it at Morrigan for saving us and Flemeth for sending her along.

I noticed my bag had been rescued from Ishal as well. I slung it over my shoulder and looked at my companions.

Alistair began to deftly strap into his armour, eyes glazed and fixed on a spot only he could see. He wandered over to where I waited when he was done. Morrigan snorted and with an eye roll, started off in the opposite direction.

I followed her to the edge of the swamp. I turned to see Alistair stumbling after us.

When I turned back to Morrigan, a grey wolf with her eyes stared back at me.

"Daveth was right, you really are a Witch of the Wilds," I addressed Morrigan-wolf.

Morrigan flicked her ears and padded silently into the forest.

The sun was just beginning to rise above the top of the trees as I looked around.

The forest transformed into a thick pine and spruce stand. Heavy thorns and ferns caught against my legs. Morrigan trotted around them expertly, so I began to follow her exactly. The path became immediately easier. Alistair still seemed lost in his own world and tripped every few feet in my winding wake.

When we stopped for a quick meal of bread and cheese, Morrigan said we were almost out of the Wilds. I was surprised that we hadn't met any darkspawn or other animals.

"Darkspawn keep to the heart of the Wilds. Animals are more sensitive to the Blight. They grow horns and protrusions. They die terrible deaths," she answered.

When we continued, Morrigan remained human. She led us through the trees, which had become deciduous, as silently as before.

I let my thoughts wander. What had become to Jowan? And Lily? Did she go to a chantry, or was she shipped off to Aeonar, the mages' and priests' jail. How was life at the Tower continuing? Did anyone know Alistair and I were alive? I knew the answer. No. We were truly alone.

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><p><em>Ouch. I ended this chapter like that? Huh. Cool. More to follow sooooon!<em>


	12. Lothering

_Wow, that was only a week late! I am thinking about renaming Alistair "Alistari " or Altarsia" because that's what I want to type for some reason. I dunno. Enjoy! _

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I am only a fish living in said pond._

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><p><strong>Lothering<strong>

_There's a madman with a mad plan and he waits for us to stumble... what to do, what to do - Jump On My Shoulders ~ AWOLNATION_

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><p>Not long after lunch, our group left the forest behind. We climbed onto a cobblestone walkway. Walls rose up on either side and reached up to my waist. Pillars held up a ceiling with more holes in it than cheese.<p>

Ahead of us stood a band of men. I stalked right up to the biggest one.

"Ten silvers to pass," he said. He had on light plate and thick leather boots.

"I don't pay crooks," I said evenly, looking right up into his grey eyes.

Some of the men laughed menacingly. I didn't look away.

"No?" the leader asked, hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

Morrigan and I had our staves in hand before he could draw his weapon.

I danced back to stand next to her. Alistair had his sword in his hand and charged deep into the brigands' ranks.

"Cover for me," hissed Morrigan.

I glanced to her and had to take another look; in the witch's place was a large brown recluse spider. It leapt into the fray, spitting poison. I blasted the head off one man which rolled under one of his fellow's feet, tripping him. Morrigan sunk her fangs into him before he could recover.

A thief came up behind Morrigan-spider. I hit him in the small of the back with a bolt of lightning and he fell to the ground, spasming.

The spider spat poison into the last man's eyes, Alistair ran him through as the criminal scrabbled at his face.

I picked a hefty sum from the leader's body. They must have been collecting for a long time to make what I found.

I searched a couple of crates nearby. In one I found a bag of food that was handed off to Morrigan. In another was a helmet and good boots that went to Alistair. I tried not to flinch when he slid the helmet on, tried not to remember the hollow eyes that stared at me for years. I told myself that I was being stupid.

In the last crate I uncovered three trap triggers and a gold painted statuette.

"What's that?" asked Bucket-head.

I handed it to him and his eyes light up.

"I had one like this when I was a young boy," said Alistair.

"Really? Wow."

"Thanks," he added earnestly.

"No problem," I replied. "Do you want to talk?"

He nodded silently. Alistair heaved a heavy sigh. "I can't stop thinking about him," he admitted. "I can't help but wonder if he would approve of this." The Warden gestured vaguely.

"I think he would," I answered, understanding we were talking about Duncan, "he'd be glad we were doing something."

"He didn't…_shouldn't _have died like that. Abandoned, I mean." Alistair frowned, then pushed a hand through his hair.

"He was a good man, Alistair. He will be remembered, as will the others," I promised.

"I think he came from Highever. I know it sounds silly, but I'd like to go there someday, put up a memorial or something."

"I think he'd like that. I would like to go there with you when you go," I said.

"I can't help but wonder if I'd been in the fight if I could have changed anything." He rubbed his eyes as though he had just woken up.

"Yeah, that ogre would've killed me because you wouldn't have been there to save me. And you would be dead too since no one was there to save you. And no one would know about Loghain. And there wouldn't be any Grey Wardens left in Ferelden," I answered heavily. I looked at Alistair closely.

He nodded. "Yeah."

I nodded too.

"Thanks, I mean it. I feel better."

"He was a good man," I repeated. "He wouldn't have wanted you to grieve while there was still something to be done, I think. And you can't fight without a clear head."

Alistair bobbed his head again.

"Let's go then." He turned to Morrigan.

"Oh, falling on your blade in misery would be too much to hope for?" she asked sweetly.

I glared at her.

"Fine, follow me." She spun on her heel and strode down the walkway. She stopped at a small stairway of six or seven steps.

From where we stood, I got my first look at Lothering. In shallow dips in the land, tents were arranged in messy blobs. People swarmed every which way around them. A large building stood off to one side with a small handful of…Templars. The chantry then. A small bridge spanned a small creek, connecting the small camp to a small tavern and a small smattering of squat houses. Everything about this village was diminutive barring the foothills and the chantry.

I descended the steps after Morrigan . She led us through the camp to the bridge, then stepped back.

I looked at Alistair. The Warden shook his head and motioned me forward. Morrigan arched an eyebrow.

I led the way across the bridge, wondering what that had been about. A worried woman stopped us on the other side.

"Please, could you make me some traps?" she asked. "Darkspawn coming, you know."

"In town?" Morrigan asked venomously.

The woman threw the witch a withering look. The kind she likely ate for breakfast. Of course not! Outside, by the field," she explained in exasperation.

"Three okay?" I jumped in.

The lady's eyes lit up."Thank you so much, three would be perfect!" The woman beamed.

I walked a little ways away.

"Anyone know how to make a decent trap?" I hadn't even thought of that part.

"I can," volunteered Alistair.

I pulled the triggers out of my pack and passed them to him.

"What else are you going to need?"

"Metal shards, rope and something to disguise them," Alistair rattled the list off.

"Tavern?" I turned to Morrigan and directed the query to her.

She nodded and we followed her to the building. _Dane's Refuge_ read the sign hanging above the door.

I pushed open the door and took in the mass of people inside. A group of soldiers stood beside the door while a couple other patrons sat at dingy tables.

The commander of the soldiers clunked over to me, his heavy platemail blocking a good amount of my vision.

"You, what's your business in Lothering?" he demanded.

"We are survivors from Ostagar." I eyed his royal standard and dared him to argue. Alistair stiffened beside me.

"Uh- Ostagar…" the soldier looked worried.

"Teryn Loghain abandoned the King and the Grey Wardens there in the battle," I prompted.

The commander nodded to his men.

I snatched my staff and jabbed the butt into his side to push him back. Morrigan created a lightning ball and tossed it into the rearguard, who fell forward into the soldier in front of him and carrying the two to the floor.

I noticed a flame-haired woman jump into the fight. She produced a pair of daggers from a long sleeve of her Chantry robes. How odd.

Alistair was holding the commander off with his shield. I hit the soldier with a blast of sparks at the base of his helmet. He stumbled back and dropped his sword.

"Stop, please!" the commander shouted.

I put my staff back over my shoulder. "Tell the Teryn that two Wardens yet live. We are not afraid," I spat.

The remaining soldiers nodded vigorously. The commander pushed his way through the congregated crowd.

I turned to the Chantry sister.

"Leliana," she said with a thick Orlesian accent.

"Thank you Leliana," I said.

"The Maker sent me here today."

"Oh?" Morrigan looked at her hard.

"I had a vision. When you walked in, I knew you were the one who could prevent it from happening. I should go with you," explained the woman.

I thought about her offer for a moment.

"More crazy? I thought we were all full up," put in Alistair.

"I appreciate it, but we aren't sure exactly what it is we're doing." I glanced at Alistair and Morrigan. They both returned my look. "So, thank you, but no thanks."

Leliana nodded and backed away.

The bartender pulled us out of the thinning crowd when we expressed a wish to see his wares. I grabbed some injury packs and health poultices. Alistair collected his trap making supplies while Morrigan shot hostile glares at the few remaining partons.

I returned to the bar to pay for the supplies. The bartender quickly looked over what I laid on the counter, adding up the charge.

"One sovereigns, sixteen bits," he announced.

I gave him the money, easily covering the cost with the brigand's loot from earlier. As I opened the door, I felt Leliana's eyes on me. Alistair and Morrigan went outside. As I followed them I could feel the gaze of every person still in the tavern on my back. Burning, settling heavily on my shoulders; the weight of Alistair's gesture to lead was sucking me down unpleasantly.


	13. The Prisoner

_Thanks to everyone who has commented on the last chapter, much appreciated. Special thanks to MiiYuKira again and MapleMaven for being the two best fans and reviewing every last chapter so far and also for reading and reviewing Fighting Words. Means so much to me guys._

_So, this was a long time coming, but here you have it. You guys know the drill: share and enjoy and review. This time, tell your friends about it too! Got that? Good. Go to it. _

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I am only a fish living in said pond._

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><p><strong>The Prisoner<strong>

_So sad but that's the way it's over … Slow down sweet taking woman - Sweet Talking Woman ~ ELO_

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><p>I nodded to the other Warden as he pulled his trap materials out and turned them over in his hands. Morrigan and I left him behind to talk to some other people.<p>

I crossed the bridge to where I had seen someone in a Chantry robe standing beside a sign. When I got there, I noticed it was a chanter's board, not a sign. I read each request. A bear by the lake, a missing woman and some thugs near the hills.

I initialed each note, I could use some better things to occupy myself for the time being. I watched a storm cloud cross Morrigan's face.

"Did you have something better in mind?" I demanded.

"Mother always taught me if someone asked a favour, it was because they were too weak to so it themselves. Do they deserve our help? They have done nothing for us."

"So, in other words 'no, I don't have anything to contribute.'" I glared at the witch.

I spun on my heel, not wanted to provoke an all-out fight while the loss was still so close. I stalked back to the bridge, partway there however, I heard a man talking to his friend.

"-darkspawn taken Ostagar. Killed the Grey Wardens and the King. Teryn Loghain barely got out with his army."

"I heard the teryn was told to get out, to save himself and take King Cailan's place," answered his friend.

"Queen Anora _is _the teryn's daughter. Loghain wouldn't do tha-" I kept walking.

I found Alistair beside the tavern still, right where Morrigan and I left him. He had three traps sitting before him. His eyes had unfocused, eyebrows knitted in deep thought.

"Loghain is trying to make himself king!" I burst out.

The warrior's gaze snapped to my face. He had barely processed my exclamation when I began to explain.

"Two men were chatting over there," I gestured to the chanter's board.

"When you were gone, I was thinking," began Alistair.

"I thought I smelled smoke," said Morrigan acidly.

I ignored her, inviting Alistair to continue.

"When the rogue in the tavern wanted to come with us, you said we didn't have a purpose. What if we used the treaties to make an army to end the Blight? If we called, elves, dwarves, mages and men – they would all have to come." Alistair's eyes shone.

I thought about it for a moment. We could show the Grey Wardens survived, Loghain was a traitor and that the Blight was real. I was sure it would be fairly easy to get First Enchanter Irving onboard, all I had to do was show up and ask.

"Why not? At least we would be ready. I have no objections." In fact, I thought it was a great plan. "Who do you think we should talk to?"

"Dalish elves, dwarves – we'd have to go to Orzammar – mages and Arl Eamon of Redcliffe. We should go there first.

I nodded appreciatively.

"Really? We are actually going?" Morrigan asked incredulously.

"Do you think we should do something else?" Alistair shouted.

"This Loghain seems like he has everything under control," she answered coolly.

"Loghain is the reason we're here. He left Alistair and I and the rest of the Wardens to our deaths. We have to do _something_ he can't just make himself King of Ferelden!" I couldn't help but let my outrage at the whole situation out of my angry retort.

Morrigan nodded reluctantly. I let out a sigh. I had expected a longer argument. Or threats.

"You done there?" I asked Alistair, changing the subject.

He nodded. We collected the traps and brought them to the woman we saw earlier.

She thanked us and, taking the traps, gave us two silvers. I thanked her for the money as we turned to leave.

I filled Alistair in on the chanter's board requests and he agreed that we should help.

"I have a wonder, Alistair, if you will indulge me," Morrigan spoke after I finished.

"Do I have a choice?" he asked.

"Of the two of you that remain, are you not the senior Grey Warden here? I find it curious that you allow another to lead while you follow."

"You find that curious, do you?"asked Alistair tiredly.

"in fact, you defer to a new recruit. Is this the policy of the Grey Wardens, or simply a personal one?" Morrigan queried.

"What do you want to hear? That I prefer to follow? I do," said Alistair, voice turning hard.

"You sound so very defensive," mused the witch.

"Couldn't you crawl under a bush somewhere and die?" the other Warden asked heavily. "That would be great, thanks."

Morrigan smirked to herself while Alistair sighed and made strangling motions behind her back.

I led the way out into the open behind Lothering village. I was just thinking about where to go first when a large cage caught my eye. Inside was a dark-skinned giant. It had white corn rows pulled back into a short ponytail. Its face was scrunched against the sun. As I swung around for a better look, he heaved a great sigh.

"Why are you in there?" I asked.

"I killed a family of farmers."

"Oh," I said. "What is your name?"

The giant sighed again. "Sten."

"How long have you been in there, Sten?"

"_Pashaara_. Long enough," he answered, turning a pair of very violet eyes upon me.

"How can I get you out?" I asked.

"Why would I want to get out?"

"I would want to get out if it were me." I frowned.

"Perhaps I do not wish to get out."

"I'll be back Sten." I turned to the other two. "Change of plans, we're going back to the village."

I jogged back into the main part of Lothering. Hearing a loud sigh from Morrigan, I continued to the Chantry.

I went inside and found the Revered Mother in the back. I asked her about Sten.

"He killed an innocent man and his family," she echoed the giant's own words.

"I know. He is sorry for it. He wants to repent." I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "The Chantry often grants second chances."

"The _qunari_ deserves none," said the Mother in disgust.

"What if he was with me?" I asked sweetly. "I would keep a close eye on him, make sure he repents."

The Revered Mother thought it over. "Perhaps it might work. As long as you don't let him out of your sight." She dug in her desk for the key to the cage.

I hurried back to the giant – _qunari_ – the Reverence had called him.

I looked him over carefully. He stood evenly on two feet despondently. He gazed off into thin air boredly.

"Sten, would you like to come out? Come with me?" I asked him.

"Why?"

"If you would rather sit in there until you rot…" I let the thought hang for a moment.

"_Pashaara_, what is with this country? Do as you wish."

I turned the key in the slot and opened the door. "Come on then."

He slowly shuffled out of the cage, regarding me closely all the while.

"Come with us, that is the only condition for your freedom."

"If this can be called freedom at all," he grumped.

"So…?"

"Fine, I will accompany you."


	14. Lothering  Finale

_So I typed this all in one sitting. I think I may have a very sore butt now. And be slightly stiff. Ow. This was six pages in my word processor, so be warned. Settle in for a long read. We are finally leaving Lothering! And Aira says my fave all-time DA quote in this installment. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter too._

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I am just a fish living in said pond._

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><p><strong>Lothering – Finale<strong>

_One of these days he'll make one for you - My Boy Build Coffins ~ Florence + the Machine_

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><p>"Sten, you stay with us for now, alright?" I addressed the newly-freed giant.<p>

He bowed his head and fell into step between Alistair and Morrigan silently.

I led the way out of the houses and into the field the trap woman had mentioned. Along the fenceline I spotted something glinting in the sun. We picked our way through the wooden beams to stand over it. The heavy scent of sickly-sweet rot and the buzzing of flies met us.

The thing was a twisted set of templar armour. Huge claw marks scored the breastplate and helmet. I kicked the helmet, which rolled to reveal green-brown flesh. A fresh wave of death enveloped us.

I gagged and saw Morrigan curl her lip and wrinkle her nose in disgust. Beside her Alistair paled. Sten looked on in morbid curiosity. I was about to ask if Alistair was okay when I sensed them.

_We crept over the hill. We could see them. Two humans, one male and one female. The other was an elf. She and the human female stunk of lyrium dust over the smell of the bear's victim._

I shook my head, catching a glimpse of them. I whipped my staff off my back.

_We understood, they had magic too. Where was the animal?_

I heard barking. When I turned, I saw a mabari streaking toward us. I recognized it as the one I saved at Ostagar. He launched himself at the darkspawn, clawing fiercely.

I saw fire arcing through the air. They had a mage with them like the ones we had encountered in the Wilds. Morrigan was already engaging it, lightning flowed from her hands. The fire winked out suddenly as the spell caster fell forward. I sent a paralysis hex into one sneaking up on the dog, giving him time to spin and lock onto the monster's throat. Alistair's sword was a blur, swinging this way and that, pausing only when he smashed his shield into a hurlock. Sword swept back to stab through patchy leather armour. I jumped onto the largest darkspawn and smacked it on its fleshy cheek, fighting down repulsion. I heard a sizzle as the spell sank in. I leaped off and called a warning.

The dog was the first to my side. The others joining us, Morrigan and Sten shooting me glances of confusion. The darkspawn halted and had a moment of comical shock while their dim minds tried to work out why we hadn't run far. Then the one with a copper handprint on its face exploded. The remaining creatures fell flat, dead.

As blood and small chunks of meat rained down, Morrigan laughed. The dog barked happily, drawing our attention.

"Hey boy," I greeted him, offering my hand for him to sniff.

"Are we bringing that mangy thing with us?" asked Morrigan.

"He's not mangy!" exclaimed Alistair, "he's just… covered in blood."

I laughed as Sten sighed at them and the dog cocked his head. I remembered when he licked the medicine off me hand. Was that really only two days ago?

"Clueless," I said. The dog looked at me, ears pricked. "He knows his name."

"Clueless," Morrigan asked incredulously.

I explained to the others about the origins of the hound's name. And how he really was clueless. Alistair found it funny, Morrigan rolled her eyes, Sten just stood silently with an air of disapproval.

I wandered over to the darkspawn emissary. It still held its staff. I yanked it out of the heavy hand. The staff had a curled head, tapered slightly. Hanging off of the end were five or six long wolf teeth. Swirls of white decorated the long shaft. The staff seemed to hum gently in my grasp.

"I have never seen this before," breathed Morrigan, awestruck.

I shot her a quizzical glance.

"'Tis strange, the staff responds to your touch. It can only be used by you now. I wonder why…" A note of jealousy snuck into her voice.

I looked at Alistair, one eyebrow raised. He nodded. It responded to the taint in my veins. The Warden reached into his pack, pulling off his helmet as he did so.

"I forgot all about this." He held out an amulet. "After the Joining, we take some of the blood and put it in here. In memory of those who didn't survive."

I took the necklace from Alistair. It was elliptical and heavy. Inside, the brown-red filth had filled the amulet. It hung off a plain looking blue-grey chain. Part of my mind screamed at another part to chuck it and dash it against a rock. A small part near the back of my skull whispered enticingly to reach out, to caress it. In the end, I compromised and put it around my neck where it nestled against my neck. A strange heat emanated from the pendant.

Alistair was watching me closely and gave a sympathetic nod. I grimaced back.

Morrigan had returned to the templar's body. She had pulled a small amount of money and a note out of one gauntleted fist.

"To the finder of this note, the money should be donated to the Chantry in Lothering village," she read.

I could see the lake where the bear supposedly lived near. I decided to check it out.

Just before we got there, Clueless bristled. His ears pinned to his head, hackles raised. A low growl rumbled in the dog's chest.

As we rounded the hill, I saw the grizzly bear. It sat in the lake, looking into the water intently. It swung its massive head about to stare at us. Clueless let out a snarl. The bear chuffed in surprise then clambered to its feet.

Before anyone could move, I lobbed a ball of lightning into the lake. The result was a loud hiss, the stench of singed fur, the sharp intake of breath from one of my companions and one less bear in Ferelden. The charred remains of the bear splashed as they landed in the lake. I mentally crossed the bear problem off my list.

I wondered how I would find the missing woman. After a brief thought, I decided it would be easier to deal with the bandits. I looked around for the hills they were supposedly hiding in. Across the field was a mass of foothills that surrounded Lothering.

I led our motley crew over the first hill. At the foot was a small band of thieves.

Alistair, Clueless and Sten, hefting the two-handed sword from the templar, plunged down the hill, scattering the group. Morrigan and I rained green and copper sparks on the outlaws.

Alistair was just dispatching the last brigand with a neat swing, Clueless already returned to my side and Sten ascending the hill, when I saw him. He was lugging a huge tow-hander and clad in heavy plate and a full-faced helm. I opened my mouth to shout a warning when he swung.

It was as if time stood still. I couldn't move to help. All I could do was stand and watch the horrendous scene unfold.

The metal suit swung the broad two-handed sword. Alistair stabbed the outlaw before him. The sword came crashing into the Warden's back. I felt a wave of fury surge up in the pit of my stomach. I froze the man solid before he could swing again. Morrigan knew what I was doing and closed a fist. Shards of ice flew everywhere as the block shattered.

I scrambled down the hill, half running, half falling. Clueless was laying next to Alistair by the time I skidded to a stop beside him, whimpering. I dropped to my knees, ignoring the sharp bite of rocks in my leg. Lying on his side, I saw both sides of Alistair at once. His back was divided in half, a deep slash revealing white bone on either side, dyed by the blood pouring from the wound. He was gasping for breath and I could hear gurgling as he inhaled. Sweat beaded on the Warden's forehead.

"Alistair, don't do this to me," I breathed.

His eyelids fluttered, showing me his overlarge pupils as his eyes rolled. "Are you in there?" I asked as I closed my own eyes and felt the Fade around me. I pushed the Veil aside, feeling for the healing energy I knew was there, just beyond my reach.

Alistair groaned, chest heaving as I probed the severed muscle. "Sorry, I'm so sorry. I have to though," I repeated over and over as he made noises of pain.

I finally grabbed hold of the energy with my mind and began pouring my will into seeing the flesh knit and the skin meld together.

I shook my head violently to keep the sweat from running into my eyes. "Come on!" I growled. "Heal!"

Then, the blood flow slowed and stopped. "Yessss," I hissed.

The muscles jumped back into place and the skin mended. I pushed still more into any injuries inside I hadn't detected earlier. When I stopped, I was exhausted, but all that remained of the terrible injury was a blotchy scar.

"How are you in there?" I asked weakly.

"Nothing like a brush with death to make you… not like death very much?" Alistair answered, his voice not any louder than mine, definitely as shaky as mine.

Morrigan, who had dragged Sten back down the hill with her, rolled her eyes. I sighed at the mess of leather and metal that had once been the back of the other Warden's armour.

Clueless licked Alistair's face and wagged his stubby tail. His eyes seemed clearer and he and I managed to climb shakily to our feet.

I winced as my knees threatened to give way and dump me on the ground again.

"Are you going to be able to get back to town?" I asked, fighting to keep my eyes open.

"Yeah, if you are," he answered heavily. "Thanks for the help back there. No I mean it," he added when I attempted an eye roll, " I thought I was going to die."

For a moment, I met his deep brown eyes. Then I twisted my head, careful not to dislodge the arm he had wrapped around my neck, or strain mine around his, back up the hill the way we had come. It was evident we couldn't possibly follow our circuitous route back into Lothering. Alistair was still in pain and we were both very weak. Even if he didn't go into shock from the pain, it would be the full of my ass to drag us both back up the hill, never mind to somewhere we could camp.

Morrigan led the way to a windmill just outside the tiny town. There, Clueless began whining and walked stiff-legged to a mass of flies and fabric. Someone had been killed. On closer inspection, which involved Morrigan shifting an arm, I realized this was the missing woman. I shook my head.

The witch didn't say a word as she brought us back to the gates of the town. By that time, Alistair and I needed a break. We sank to the ground, leaning against the wall. Two girls walked by, followed by their brother. The younger girl and the boy looked about my age, while the other who could only have been the older sister was a few years senior. They all had black hair and the girls shared clear blue eyes. I noticed the air shimmer with magic as the glanced down at us in concern. Their brother looked longingly at the sword Sten carried.

"What was that all about?" I was jabbed surprisingly painfully in the side by Alistair as he asked softly.

"How'm I s'posed to know?" I slurred in exhaustion.

He shrugged in response.

Morrigan returned a short while later with a bag of coins. "Chantry," she ground out.

I dragged Alistair back to a standing position. "Right." I pointed toward the highway's arch. And again for good measure.

Our bizarre group made our bizarre way out of Lothering. Again. This time we were waylaid by the red-headed Chantry sister from the barfight and had to defend ourselves.

"I want to go with you. The Maker has made that clear." She did a double take at the sight of Alistair and I 'supporting' each other.

"No," I insisted.

"Aww, let her come," Alistair argued.

"Alistair, she's an archdemon short of a full Blight," I said.

"Yes, but she seems more 'Oooh, pretty colours' than 'I am Princess Stabitty – stab, kill, kill.'" He felt the need to make hand gestures that almost toppled us.

"I think you should speak for yourself," I giggled.

"So? Can I come with?" Leliana asked, trying to get a straight answer out of us.

Since she was so calm in the face of impossibility I accepted her offer. And I figured we needed more help.

We set off again, me trying not to step on my or Alistair's feet as we went, him not bothering to even attempt it.

After somehow managing to maneuver our way up the incline to the highway, we were stopped once again. This time, two surface dwarves. One had red hair and a braided beard, the other was sandy blond and to my exhausted eyes, looked as giddy as I felt.

"Hello travelers!" I kept on shuffling.

"Uh… Would you like to trade?" To his credit, the dwarf barely skipped a beat.

"No? Perhaps-" I never heard what he offered next.

About an hour later, in the forest again, we made camp. Alistair and I were beyond exhaustion, after Ostagar and his injury and subsequent healing, we were borderline delirious. I found everything we passed incredibly exciting and he found everything we passed incredibly funny. Morrigan kept shooting us death-glares. Leliana endured our strangeness without so much as a batted eyelash.

I barely laid out a bedroll before sinking into unconsciousness. The Fade was even more bizarre than I was that night. Throwing at me dreams of darkspawn-infested libraries and burning books.

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><p><em>Song quote is for the fighting in this chapter, because I know I'll get this question later. Without a fail. If you can tell me who the black-haired trio are, you win a chapter about Aira and Alistair's behaviour from the perspective of another character. You choose.<em>


	15. Unamused

_Alsright, follow up to the last chapter. As you know, there were three black-haired siblings in the last installment and I said I'd write a chapter from the perspective of a character chosen by the person who could tell me who the three were. That's a lot to follow, hee hee. So, MiiYuKira and MapleMaven both answered correctly, but Mave said it was okay for someone else to get the prize. MiiYuKira chose Sten to tell the chapter after guessing my Hawke family._

_I hope I didn't completly screw him up in this chapter. Here we go..._

_As always, share and enjoy and review!_

_P.S. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with Aira, the fun stuff begins next chapter! Thanks for the reviews! _

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><p><strong>Unamused<strong>

_Summer has come and passed/The innocent can never last – Wake Me Up When September Ends ~ Green Day_

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><p><em>Vashedan<em>. I was let out of my penitance for this. Ugh, the high-pitched noises they were making was enough to make me want to walk off a cliff. I doubt anyone in the whole of this dog-smelling nation did not hear them.

They were lurching across the ground in a most unseemly fashion, arms around one another's necks. Every few moments one would throw an arm out toward something new and they would collapse into giggles and squealing again.

The swamp _bas __saarebas _looked down her nose in disgust at the pair. "If you are incapable of being silent…" she threatened once again.

I thought about my report to the _arishok_ after my return to Seheron. What could I say? After landing in this Ferelden I was attacked, lost _Asala_, had my brothers killed; I had panicked, killed innocents, become a prisoner and witnessed the single most strangest moment in history? I would be exiled. I would be sent back to live here. I would be more humiliated than I was now.

The elf _bas saarebas _pointed out a moth that fluttered by. "Look at it! It's… it's flying! Wow…" She was reduced to laughter again. The male's eyes bulged as he turned his head to follow the tiny insect's movements.

"Ow, Alistair, you're hurting my arm. Stop!" the_ saarebas_ choked out.

The one called Alistair apologized as he trod on her feet for the seventeenth time since leaving the village. The elven _bas_ giggled quietly at him in response.

"Are you going to be alright?" asked the red-haired Chantry woman. I disliked her. She was too optimistic. It was as if the light shone out of every tiny part of the world for her.

"Clearly not," drawled the swamp _saarebas_ in disgust.

I sighed again. This was too much. Return me to the cage. The dog – Clueless – barked loudly. The dwarves were back. They followed us. I did not even realize. I had spent too long in the cage, I was losing my instincts in this place.

I began murmuring passages of the _Qun_ to calm myself. It was getting to be too much.

"Have to… stop. I'm… so tired. So tired," said the _saarebas _supporting Alistair.

"Yes, we must stop." The swamp _saarebas_ agreed, albeit grudgingly.

From there, we walked a short ways further and proceeded to create a camp. I had to collect wood for the fire. _Vashedan_. The fires were big and hot, as I was used to. They were also light using magic by the swamp _serebaas_. I noticed it was suddenly silent. Alistair and the other one were asleep.

I studied the sky until, I too, grew weary. I slept then too. I dreamed of the _karashoks_ I commanded who were now dead.


	16. Camp

_New chapter, thankies to everyone who refuses to tell me this is terrible and continues to review. Lots of game-dialogue, but it's all good stuff. Don't be afraid to point out any typos, we can't all be perfect._

_Share and enjoy and review as __always._

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond, I am only a fish living in said pond._

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><p><strong>Camp<strong>

_All those wasted hours we used to know spent the summer staring at the wall - Wasted Hours ~ Arcade Fire_

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><p><em>We climbed through the tunnels…<em>

_We spread the rot…_

_We killed many…_

_We saw a glittering black dragon roaring from a plinth above us as we went._

I jolted awake. I was drenched in sweat and covered in heavy blankets.

"Bad dreams, huh?"

I looked around, trying to find the speaker. Alistair sat gazing into a fire Morrigan and the others must have thrown together. I was glad to see the other Warden looking steady and more or less alert.

"Yeah," I answered, "they seemed so real…"

Alistair nodded. He switched his deep brown gaze to me. "Well it is real. Sort of. You see, part of being a Grey Warden is being able to hear the darkspawn. That's what your dream was: hearing them. The archdemon, it 'talks' to the horde and we feel it just as they do. That's why we know this is really a Blight."

"The archdemon, is that a dragon?" I asked, remembering the great scaly beast I dreamed about.

"I don't know if it really is a dragon, but it sure looks like one," answered Alistair. "But, yes, that's the archdemon. It takes a bit, but eventually you can block the dreams out. Some of the older Grey Wardens say they can understand the archdemon a bit, but I sure can't. Anyhow, when I heard you thrashing around, I thought I should tell you. It was scary at first for me too."

"Was? Past tense?" The promise of an end seemed like a luxury.

"I heard they are worse for those who become Wardens during the Blight, how is it for you?" he asked quietly.

"They're nightmares all right," I replied.

"They get better." He nodded again.

"Thanks," I said.

"That's what I'm here for. To deliver unpleasant news. And witty one-liners."

I laughed as I crawled out of the tangle of quilts. "Expecting snow?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You were shivering," explained Alistair.

In answer, I flicked a hand in the direction of the fire, which hissed as sweat landed in it.

"I guess I could have taken some off," he said. He threw me a glare when I laughed at his accidental joke.

"Sorry, I grew up in a Tower with a bunch of boys," I snorted.

I looked around. Leliana was standing a short distance from the fire beside a tent, a lute laid gently down at her feet. Sten had his arms crossed and scowled into the dark around the campsite. The two dwarven merchants we met while Alistair and I were delirious were looking in interest at something in their cart. Morrigan was nowhere to be found.

I strode over to the merchants.

"You and your friends are formidable folk. We figured it would be alright to tag along, since you would likely be needing our wares. My name is Bodahn Feddic and this is my boy, Sandal. Say 'hello' Sandal." Bodahn was almost giddy with excitement.

"Hello," Sandal said. He and his father had to tip their heads back to see me clearly. And I was an elf, not a tall _kossith _like Sten.

"Can I see your armour please?" There was no way Alistair could fight in his mangled mess anymore.

Bodahn opened a crate filled with breastplates, bracers, greaves and shoulder guards.

It took a fair amount of doing to find a complete set of anything, but eventually, I held a whole set suit of light chain- and platemail.

"With your discount, one sovereign and twenty-five silvers," announced Bodahn.

Of course, to get money, I had to drop the armour. After a brief struggle, I managed to pay the dwarf and collect the bits and bobs of Alistair's new armour

I lugged the mess over to the other Warden. He looked surprised when I handed it off.

"You didn't think I'd expect you to wear that in a fight, did you?" I asked him lightly.

Alistair shook his head, speechless. Grinning like a maniac, he began closely inspecting every link and inch of metal.

I turned and waved to Leliana. "Hello, I am really sorry for the way I acted earlier, I was… very, _very_ tired then. I'm Aira. I'm from the Circle and just recently became a Grey Warden at Ostagar."

"Do not apologize, I doubt you really had much of an idea of what was going on then. " Leliana met my eyes evenly.

"You're not like the others at the Chantry, are you?" I blurted. Great, now I was the obnoxious, stupid Warden.

"What do mean 'others like me'?" she asked.

"I don't believe I've ever seen a Sister with the skill you possess with a bow at the Tower, it might be different elsewhere though," I chuckled.

"No, the other Sisters were chaste and virtuous, not willing to pick up a blade to save their lives. But why should they when they are protected by the Templars?"

"I guess you're right." I wondered how we had gotten away from the conversation about her.

There was silence for a moment.

"Where did you learn how to handle weapons?" I asked.

"Oh, I wasn't always at the cloister you know," she said vaguely, Orlesian accent thickening suddenly.

I nodded and turned to look elsewhere. "I should go," I tossed over my shoulder.

I was making my way around the fire again when I was stopped by Sten.

"Do you find Ferelden very strange?" I wondered.

"No one has a place here. Your farmers wish to be merchants. The merchants dream of being nobles, and the nobles become warriors. No one is content to be who they are. It is not like that where I come from," he answered, his accent made it difficult to understand him at first.

"And where is it you come from, Sten?" I knew the _qunari_ had conquered Par Vollen - a hot country north – but came from Seheron which was an island off the coast of the Shining Sea. They had been at war with neighbouring lands such as the Tevinter Imperium for many years as well.

"My home is on Seheron. I was sent here with members of the _Beresaad_."

"And why was that?" I pressed.

"The _arishok_ sent us."

"Tell me about yourself, Sten."

"I like swords and I follow orders. What else is there? _Pashaara,_" he said, clearly ending our conversation.

I continued my search for Morrigan, finally spotting the witch standing at her own fire.

"Thanks for taking over after I lost it," I said.

Morrigan's face remained impassive as she nodded.

"Can you teach others to become shape-changers?" I asked.

"By 'others' you mean yourself, I imagine," she responded.

"Yes."

The witch thought for a moment. "I could, I never have before," she admitted.

"Tell me about your mother," I requested after a short silence.

"Flemeth was young once," she began, "she met a man named Osun, a bard. They fell in love and were soon married. Years passed after that. Flemeth was hungry, as the life of a bard is not a wealthy one.

"One day, while my mother was gathering herbs, a nobleman passed by. One version of the story says that Flemeth was stolen from her husband, the other says she went willingly. She was married to the nobleman and lived with him, never seeing her first lover.

"Osun received news: Flemeth's new husband was dying and she wished him to join her at the estate she was to inherit. The old bard hurried to meet her. However, he was betrayed. Osun was murdered by the nobleman.

"Flemeth went to a demon not long afterward and conversed with it. The nobleman was now dead and Flemeth was aging. They struck a deal and even now, the demon keeps her alive," Morrigan finished.

"How is it that her body hasn't decayed, it would have to if the Chasind legends are as old as they claim?" I asked.

"Flemeth lures Chasind men to her hut. Every now and then, she is seen with a daughter.

"Flemeth has lived many lifetimes, that changes one's perspectives. If she chose to save you, perhaps the Blight affects her very survival." Morrigan looked at me closely.

I met her strange, predatory yellow eyes. It seemed as if she looked into my soul. I don't know how long the world was only her yellow gaze, only that I instinctively fought breaking our contact. Finally, she blinked and looked away.

"I have to speak to Alistair before pulling up camp," I said.

It was true; the sun had stretched its bright tendrils over the horizon.

I turned and walked to my bedroll and began to help pack camp.


	17. Travelling Again

_ Cut down on the in-game dialogue. Some is still here because it's really good. Lot's of original writing in here thought too! I changed these scenes a bit from the game. You'll see._

_Keep a lookout in the next few days for a new fic that I'll be putting up, I think you guys'll like it. Yeah, I just advetised my own future peice._

_Thanks to all reviewers! I can't possibly tell you how much it means to me. Share and enjoy and review, you all know the drill! _

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><p><strong>Part 2: Redcliffe<strong>

** Travelling Again**

_I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more - I Would Walk 500 Miles ~ The Proclaimers_

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><p>Redcliffe was a several day journey from where we camped deep in the forest near Lothering.<p>

Most of our things had gone into Bodahn's cart. The dwarves had gotten a head start so they would reach the next campsite before the rest of us. Sten had gone with them for protection, much to his slight annoyance.

"We now have a dog and Alistair is still the dumbest one in the party," sneered Morrigan.

Alistair's expression became indignant. "I-"

"How did you become a Grey Warden?" I asked, trying to cut down on arguments.

"Same as you, you choke on some blood, you pass out and next thing you know…" Clearly, he'd been expecting this.

I threw him a look.

"You don't really want to know do you?" he asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise," I pointed out.

He sighed. "Okay, I'm a bastard. And before you say anything, I mean the fatherless kind," he added, seeing me open my mouth, teasing already lined up on my tongue. "I was also raised by dogs."

"That would explain the smell," I joked back.

"Yeah, well it wasn't until I was seven that I realized I didn't have to lick myself clean. That and the Chantry beat it out of me."

"Really? A Chantry-boy then?" I asked, risking a sidelong glance at Leliana who was listening intently.

"I was training to become a Templar." That explained the wall of anti-magic just beneath the surface. Why my magic flowed thickly through the air. But not as thickly as in the Tower around the "statues."

"Arl Eamon of Redcliffe took me in. The Arlessa thought he was my father because of it. So they sent me away." A glazed expression covered the Warden's face.

"That's terrible, why would anyone do that to a child?" I queried, knowing full well. I had lived in the Tower long enough to know. Some called mages freaks and feared us. To have one in the family was cause for such measures. Society hardly tolerated illegitimate children, they were scum, still better than lowly mages though.

Alistair shook his head as if to clear it. "Before I took my vows to become a full Templar, Duncan recruited me. He saved my life." Grief crept into his voice.

"He saved me too," I pointed out. "I was supposed to die for aiding a maleficar back at the Tower."

We carried on in silence, the long road disappearing beneath our feet steadily. After a time, I asked Alistair about his mother.

"I never knew her. My memories begin at Castle Redcliffe," he replied with a shrug.

Leliana started singing a song about a woman named Aveline, a warrior raised by elves. She entered a tournament against the rules of Orlais and won, but was also revealed as a woman to the crowd.

I listened quietly until the song was over and then asked, "When did you learn how to sing so beautifully?"

"I was taught in Orlais a long time ago, before I joined the Chantry," came the answer. She offered no specifics whatsoever on her own, so I didn't press.

Soon after, we stopped for a lunch of berries Morrigan and I collected, cheese leftover from before and a rabbit stew that Alistair and Leliana collaborated on. He caught and cleaned the rodents and she turned them into a flavorful stew.

"What was it like to be a Warden with the others?" I asked after we had gotten back onto the road.

Alistair spoke reluctantly at first, but gained steam and was soon laughing at their antics. "Duncan came in and found us all passed out on the floor. And was he mad!" Then his face crumpled in.

"I'm so sorry, this must be hard for you," I apologized. I put my hand on his arm without thinking.

He bent his head to look at my arm. I snatched it back self-consciously. I felt heat rise from my neck, creeping up my face and making my ears burn. I looked at the ground quickly.

"Why have you remained a Templar?" I asked when I had finally recovered enough to ask Alistair.

"Duncan thought I could use my training on the emissaries. Stop their magic. So I've kept up on my training." He looked relieved to have and easy question.

"I thought they wore full plate and heavy helms though," I commented, casting a critical eye over his new armour and the helmet stowed under his arm.

"Actually, we wear yellow and purple robes," he answered, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Why?" I asked cautiously, suspecting a trap.

"It's easier to jump on the beds during sleepovers. You seriously think I know?" He didn't disappoint. Though the Warden sounded a bit nettled.

I felt my face form an indignant glare.

"I told you before, I never actually became a Templar. I was recruited before taking my vows," he explained patiently.

"And what would have happened if you had finished at the Chantry?" Morrigan jumped in.

Leliana twisted to survey Alistair as he answered.

"Are you asking me?" Alistair raised his eyebrows.

"Do you see anyone else here who has failed their religious instruction?" she flashed back smoothly.

"I didn't fail, I was recruited into the Grey Wardens. There's a difference," he clarified.

Morrigan snorted haughtily. "You still haven't answered my question."

"I would have become a drooling lunatic, slaughtered the Grand Cleric and run through the streets of Denerim in my smallclothes." He sounded deflated as he recited the list.

"You self-awareness does you credit, Alistair," mused the witch.

"Thought you'd like that."

I looked over at him. He was walking with his head down in defeat. I reached my hand out to place it on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. He raised his head, eyes searching my face. I nodded to him and took my hand back. The Warden returned my nod.

After that, we became much quieter. Leliana began to sing again, this time in Orlesian. I only understood about half of the song but it sounded beautiful. When she had finished, the sun had mostly disappeared beyond the horizon. We continued a little more before we reached the campsite.

Sten was already preparing something to eat. The rest of us worked on setting up tents.

After a quick meal of salad and stew, Morrigan announced she was going for a walk. She stalked to the edge of the firelight, turned into a small cat and vanished into the forest.

"Can I ask you something… personal?" I asked Alistair. Leliana was giving us that weird stare from across camp again. Sten was harassing Clue. Quietly though.

The Warden looked at me in surprise. "Well, we're in camp…" He raised an eyebrow.

"If you were raised in the Chantry, then you must never…" I trailed off, wondering why I had to ask that of all things. What had possessed me?

"Never…?" He asked slowly. "Never what? Had a good pair of shoes?"

"You know what I mean," I said. I should have just walked away. I inwardly cringed.

"Not sure I do." Alistair looked thoughtful. "Have I ever seen a basilisk? Eaten jellied ham? Have I ever licked a lamppost in winter?"

"Now you're just making fun of me," I laughed.

"Make fun of you dear lady? Perish the thought!" He feigned aghast. "Have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?"

"No," I said, wondering once again why we were talking about this. "I never have. And you?" I added as an afterthought, finally getting the point across.

"No, I haven't either," he admitted.

"Awww, you're a virgin. How cute!"

"Thank you, that's what every man wants to hear." Sarcasm dripped heavily from each word. "Especially from a beautiful woman."

"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked, taken by surprise.

"Of course you're beautiful and you know it." I think that remark caught us both off guard.

"I might like hearing it from you," I said quietly. Huh? Where did this all come from?

"I'm going to end this conversation, else you're risqué talk make my ears blush."

I laughed, enjoying Alistair's easy company. Even if it made me say bizarre things. "Yesterday in Lothering, after I healed you, you said you thought you were going to die." I said, suddenly remembering.

"Far as I know, I said a lot of things, but yes, I did think that. Even if you killed that man before he killed me, I had no idea you could use some magic to fix me like you did." Alistair regarded me closely.

"Wow, that's some pretty strong stuff. A little faith might be good though."

A smile spread across his face. "Oh, believe me, I have plenty faith in you."

The two of us sat listening to Leliana strum her lute. Sten went back to glaring at the dwarves after a short time. Morrigan sauntered, human, back into camp. She crawled into a tent set a little way away from the others without a glance in our direction.

"I can take first watch if you want," I offered. "You can get some sleep if."

Alistair nodded once before going into another tent.

I sat down next to Clueless who had curled up next to the fire. As I watched the moon and stars, I caressed the dog's ears and massive head. He sighed contentedly in his sleep every once in a while.

When the moon reached its zenith, I woke Leliana and Morrigan for their watch. Then I clambered into my blankets and slept dreamlessly for the last time in a long time.

I opened my eyes in the morning to Clueless licking my face. I slid out of my tent, seeing Alistair doing the same. He was blinking blearily.

"Morning!" I called to everyone. Bodahn gave a little wave, Leliana called the same back. Sten and Morrigan glared at me while Sandal smiled broadly. Alistair gave me a distracted glance.

While I gulped down our meal of bread and trail mix the dwarves made, Alistair watched me with laughter in his eyes. We broke camp before sunrise, having a full day left of travel between us and Redcliffe yet.

"How did we sleep?" I asked Alistair.

"Through the night. I could have taken a watch," he answered. "You?"

"I slept well. I don't remember what I dreamed about."

"I slept well too," Leliana put in. "Watch was quiet, yes Morrigan?"

The witch grunted.

I asked Leliana to tell a story. She launched into a tale about Shartan, the elf who led the rest of his people during Andraste's time.

The rest of the day passed in this manner. We chatted amicably together, finally coaxing Morrigan to join sometimes. She offered little on her own though. Leliana talked at length about the differences between Ferelden and Orlais to fill silences.

I found myself contemplating each of my companions. I liked them all so far. Leliana especially. She was kind and sweet in that best-friend kind of way. Morrigan was prickly, to be sure, but when she said something you had better listen. She would eventually come around. Sten was a hard nut. He was so gruff and answered in as little words as possible. Bodahn and Sandal were very nice. Clueless was adorable. Alistair, for some reason I had the feeling he wasn't being entirely open with me. I didn't know what or why, just that he was. Just like Leliana.

That night was much the same as the last. This time, Leliana added to the conversations. Alistair told me a bit about past Wardens and why I was so hungry all the time. That came with the title it seemed. We planned to reach Redcliffe the next day.


	18. Redcliffe At Last

_This was a long time coming, I think. Get to see some new moments and old ones too. Thanks for everyone's continued support. Means a lot to me. s all around!_

_We'll miss Rose, never failed to make me smile with her reviews. Aira sends her thanks._

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I am only a fish living in said pond._

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><p><strong>Redcliffe At Last<strong>

_Who are you, who who who who? - Who Are You ~ The Who_

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><p>That night we all joined in for watch. I ended up with Leliana for my partner. She was generally quiet, occasionally remarking about trivial things. Somehow we ended up discussing the Tower. I told her about lessons and such. Leliana listened contentedly, offering small words of comfort at being so far from my home.<p>

She began telling me about living at the Chantry. I fought the urge to make her stop. They couldn't force me to another sermon ever again. I didn't have to chant fake prayers to appease the priests anymore.

When our shift was over, I woke Morrigan while Leliana got Alistair up. I cautiously shook the witch's shoulder until her yellow eyes glared into me. I quickly retreated to the main part of camp then. Alistair nodded sleepily to me as I passed.

"All quiet," I said. After that I fell into my tent.

That night I dreamt. I was standing in a field, the stink of rot all around. The air was heavy with humidity and death. A quiet voice said something that I couldn't understand. The edges of my vision were a black wave lapping at the field. I tried to move, scream, anything. But I was frozen, held in place by some unseen force. The voice stopped. Then I heard a deep laughing, taunting my fear.

I was blinking awake to birds. Birds. Before my Tower days, I'd been able to whistle each birdsong common to the Alienage in Denerim. Now I couldn't even guess which bird I could hear.

I staggered into the clearing. Leliana was tending a pot on the fire, Sten was strapping into his platemail, Morrigan was yawning at the edge of the camp and Alistair looked like he had been running laps of the forest while I slept.

Everyone halted exactly in that position as I stepped into the early sunshine. Clueless bounded up out of nowhere. I bent to pet him vigorously. He snuffled at my face, chasing the remnants of the nightmare away like frost in midday sun. The rest of the group continued with their tasks.

During our meal, it was clear Alistair was getting antsy to be underway. He was jumpy and had a distant look on his face. As we packed away tents and other assorted camp outfittings, he kept bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Alistair?" I asked, amused.

"What?" He spun around.

"Would you like to explain why you just tried to stuff my dog in that pack?" I snorted, unsuccessfully trying to stifle my laughter.

The Warden looked down at Clue's pack-covered head. "He got in my way?"

"Go sit down or something, you already crashed into Sten. Run to Redcliffe ahead of us or something, you're just… not all there right now," I chided gently.

He flashed a sheepish smile and sat under a nearby tree. He drew his legs up under his chin like a small child.

Now that we were unhindered by Alistair, the rest of us finished up quickly.

We were following the road along the shining expanse of Lake Calenhad. I thought about the last time I saw it, walking the other direction to Ostagar, Duncan at my side. I was invincible then, never seen death, never cheated it so narrowly. I'd never imagined meeting King Cailan or witnessing Teryn Loghain's betrayal. I never thought I'd have met so many in such a short amount of time. Yet here they all were, Leliana, Morrigan, Clueless, Alistair and Sten.

"What are you thinking?" Leliana asked.

I told her. She was surprised, not thinking I was pondering things like that. Morrigan shot me a strange look.

The ground sloped up under our feet. We climbed a ridge, the roadside rocky and tufts of grass clung to the stones.

Alistair stopped short, I almost collided with him. I moved around him and followed his gaze. We were standing on a cliff, looking down over Lake Calenhad. On the shore, a village bustled.

Alistair led the way down the road to a stone bridge that spanned a whitewater river. Halfway across, the Warden turned, cutting us off. A thoughtful look on his face.

"I know I really should have said this sooner. I need to tell you something," he said.

"What is it?" I frowned. Morrigan huffed behind me.

"Remember when I told you I didn't know my father?" Alistair asked. "Well, that wasn't entirely true. I'm the illegitimate son of King Maric, Cailan's father. My mother was a serving girl in the palace." His eyebrows met in a worried frown.

"So… you're a royal bastard?" I joked, trying to hide how unbalanced that revelation made me feel.

"I guess I am. I'm going to have to use that line more often," Alistair laughed.

"Then you're the heir."

"I don't want the throne. I never have, Arl Eamon would do much better. But if he really is as sick as I've heard…" Alistair trailed off.

"Does Loghain know?" I wondered.

"I can't imagine why he wouldn't. He and Maric were very close," he answered. "Well, that's it. I thought you had better know, in case someone were to say something and you found out that way."

"No harm done Alistair," I assured. I was struck with a thought. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I guess I was just happy you didn't know." Alistair paused. "That didn't come out right."

"What happens when people find out?"

"They treat me like the bastard prince. It was always very clear to me that I wasn't in line for the crown. Everywhere I went I was the king's son or Cailan's half-brother. That's not who I am," he explained. "So that's it. I'm ready to go."

"As you command, my prince," I laughed.

"Something tells me I'm going to regret this," he sighed in mock defeat.


	19. Preparations

_Wow, 35 reviews so far, thank to everyone who helped reach that number. So this chapter got very long. Very long.. As in, double the usual, but I couldn't split this for reasons you will understand later. As always, share and enjoy!_

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond, I am only addicted to the water._

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><p><strong>Preparations<strong>

_To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr/this is war - This Is War ~ 30 Seconds to Mars_

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><p>We crossed the bridge in silence. The path wound around the mountainside in switchbacks, crossing the river twice more. When we reached the second bridge, someone barred the way. A quiver of arrows poked over the shoulder of the young man, a longbow clutched in his left hand.<p>

"I must stop you there!" warned the man.

All of us stopped cold in our tracks.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

"I am Aira of the Grey Wardens and these are my companions," I answered, gesturing at the rest of the group.

The man muttered something about his tea being gone then spoke aloud to us," You will have to see the Bann in the village."

I followed him, my companions in my wake. We wove around barricades, archers practicing and a group of soldiers. We were led into the village chantry, paraded down the hall and stopped. Before us stood a man in his early forties with regal bearing. His hair was a red-brown and a small braid that began at his left temple was tucked behind his ear. The man had on a fine tunic.

"Thank you, you may return to your post," the man dismissed our guide in a rich voice. His eyes looked us over with interest.

"Bann Teagan," Alistair spoke from my right shoulder. _Teagan_ not _tea-gone_.

"And who is this?" the Bann asked.

"The last time I saw you, I was very young," said Alistair, "and covered in mud."

"Alistair?" Teagan's eyes widened in surprise.

"What's going on?" I asked. "We need to speak to Arl Eamon."

Teagan's eyes clouded. He took a long time to answer. "We've not heard from the castle in three days, not seen anyone inside for four and no one has responded to my shouts. Last night evil…_ things _surge from the castle. We pushed them back, but many perished during the assault." The Bann's voice turned pleading as his gaze pinned mine.

"Who should we talk to?" I asked immediately.

"Murdoch, the town mayor, is outside." The relief in Teagan's response was palpable.

"What?" Morrigan crowed as I turned away, "You are not serious, are you?"

Alistair threw me a worried glance. Instead of addressing either of them, I marched out of the chantry.

Outside, it was easy to locate Murdoch. The brown-haired and bearded man was barking orders to a group of villagers just outside the building.

"Murdoch, ser? I am Aira, Grey Warden. How can I help you?"

The man's steely grey eyes raked over me. "Hmmm…" The mayor thought for a moment. "Our smith, Owen, has locked himself in the forge and Dwyn the dwarf has also hidden in his home. If you can convince'em to help, that'd be a lot of… help." Murdoch glared at me in challenge as he explained in a gravelly voice.

I got instruction to the two houses and thanked the mayor before setting off. The smithy was just nearby, so I led the way to it first. I knocked on the door. Something smashed against it. I pounded harder.

"Hello?" came the weak answer.

"Can we come in?" I called.

There was an audible click. I opened the door. Our sinuses were assailed by the stink of ripe meat and old alcohol. Clueless whined at my feet.

A big hulking human was standing before us, his face sooty with tear-streaks cutting paths through the grime. His face was deeply lined, grey hair wispy and barely covered his head. The smith's eyes were bloodshot and glassy. The man's chin was covered in a beard uncannily like First Enchanter Irving's.

"Somebody's been drinking," Alistair announced in a sing-song voice.

"So what if I have?" demanded the smith.

"Murdoch needs-" I began.

"_Murdoch needs, Murdoch needs_," he mocked. "Owen doesn't care!"

"Care about what, Owen?" I asked.

"My Valena. She's been my life since her mother passed on two years ago. My girl's a maid to the Arlessa in the castle. No one will go in to search for her!" Owen explained.

"I'll go," I said immediately. "I'll search for her, but I need to get into the castle for that. We have to win the attack tonight. You help us, I'll look for Valena."

I could practically hear the gears and cogs as Owen processed all that information.

"Looks like I'll hafta start the forge up again," he said finally. The smith began stumbling around.

I turned to the door, thinking Owen's beard didn't move when he spoke either. When I got outside, Morrigan grabbed my shoulder. Sten looked on in clinical fascination.

"Should we begin rescuing kittens from trees now?" she asked hotly.

"Do you want to take on who knows how may unknown creatures tonight yourself, Morrigan?" I flashed back. "Because we will if we don't get their support."

"Why are we even bothering?" countered the witch. "Why do we not simply go to the castle?"

"These people need help. Think will you? We go in, _if_ we actually could, but never come back. We don't even know what may be inside. What will that look like if –" I did a quick head count –"six of us go in, two of which are Grey Wardens, one a war hound, you and Sten included and we all die. Why should they last if none of us could?"

Clueless barked and flicked his ears at me. Morrigan narrowed her eyes then looked away. "Fine."

"What's that I smell?" Alistair sniffed hard a few times. "Oh, fish. And what's that? More fish!"

I laughed then asked him if he was planning on snorting my hair off my head. Leliana giggled then. I led the way to Dwyn's house on the lakeside. His was the last in a string of houses on stilts connected by thin wood that had been tacked together loosely.

"Hello?" I called loudly. Nothing happened. After a pause, I knocked hard with a fist.

"Go away!"

I knelt to pick the lock, but only succeeded in hopelessly jamming the mechanism. With a sigh I stood. Drawing a leg up, I aimed. My foot connected down and to the side of the lock and knob, breaking the mechanism.

"Hey!" yelled a dwarf that could only have been Dwyn. Two human, tattooed, guards stood on either side of a brown-bearded dwarf.

"You wouldn't let me in," I pointed out.

"Whattaya want?" he demanded.

"Why are you in here?"

Dwyn sighed in exaggerated impatience. "Creatures are outside, I'm in. Figure it out."

"What if they do get in tonight?" I pressed.

"You might have a point," Dwyn grudgingly acknowledged.

"What kind of warrior would you be if you hid in here while the whole village and we," I gestured to the others, "fight the monsters?" I asked bluntly.

Dwyn looked at his feet and mumbled something.

"Sorry?"

"I said, I'll fight!" yelled the dwarf irritably.

I bowed my head and left the small house. I rounded a corner on the platform and spotted a sign for a shop. The windows where all boarded up, but the door stood ajar. I swept inside and found large barrels of grease standing near the far wall. I inspected them carefully before leaving.

I found Murdoch in the middle of the village again and told him about our progress.

"Owen, that bastard is falling over drunk and still manages to make smithing look easy," the mayor said, shaking his head. "Good work with Dwyn."

I told him about the grease I saw. He nodded, seeing my plan. "Anything else? How is morale?"

"No one has much hope of anything," Murdoch admitted.

"You'll win this fight," I urged the man.

"Speak to Ser Perth up the hill by the windmill if you need somethin' to keep you busy."

I headed in the direction the mayor indicated. As we climbed the hill, I saw a tavern. I went in and immediately wished I hadn't. Inside, the air was hot and close. It smelled like too much booze and the floor was slippery. I wandered to the bar and addressed the man behind the counter.

"Will you fight with us?" I asked.

"Pardon?" he asked in a rough voice.

"Tonight, in Redcliffe, will you fight with us?" I clarified.

"Lloyd, you wouldn't dare," warned a young lady in an apron.

Lloyd eyed me and the girl nervously. "Umm…?"

"If you don't join us, there may not _be_ a Redcliffe in the morning," I pointed out.

"Maybe?"

I turned and surveyed the side of the bar, feeling gouges in the wood with my fingers. _Don't eat the cheese_. Alistair followed my gaze and burst out laughing.

I went back outside, my nose burning. "What was that all about?" I asked the other Warden.

"Remind me to tell you when we aren't facing eminent death," he replied.

We made our way over to the windmill then. Ser Perth wore thick plate mail, shoulder guards rose to protect the sides of his face. Recognition flickered in his eyes after a moment of scrutiny.

"Can I help you with anything?" I asked.

"I need more men, but that won't happen. The ones I do have are scared stiff. I wish we had something to help with morale," answered the knight. "Maybe… maybe the Revered Mother might give us blessed charms?"

"I can go and ask her," I offered.

The knight looked relieved. "See me after you speak to her."

I turned and headed down the slope again.

"Have a care where your eyes linger, Alistair," Morrigan said icily.

"That is not where I was looking," he swiped back.

The witch raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I was looking at your nose. It looks exactly like your mother's," Alistair said sweetly.

"What?" Morrigan was outraged. "I look _nothing_ like my mother!"

"Well I-"

"I. Look. Nothing. Like. My mother!" The witch's voice rose to a shriek.

"Nothing alike, I got it." Alistair looked at me for help. By that time, we stood outside the chantry again. I heaved the doors open. Walking right into the Revered Mother's chamber, I noticed she was just finishing a prayer. I wandered back out of the room to wait.

Back in the foyer, I heard a girl sobbing. I searched for her, finally spotting her slumped against the wall with her head in her hands. I went to her and knelt beside her.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to be quieter," she said miserably.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently.

"Those things… they took Mother away. Now I can't find my brother. Please, he's just a boy, but I'm worried about him. I think he went back to our house. You have to help me find him. I can't lose him like I've lost Mother. I can hear her screaming – all the time," the distraught girl – she couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen – pleaded.

"What is your and you brother's names?" I inquired.

"Kaitlynn, my brother's Bevin."

"We'll find Bevin, Kaitlynn," I promised.

After her grateful thanks, I left the chantry, catching Morrigan's icy stare. As I shoved open the door, I made a mental note to remind her I was in charge of making decisions.

We wandered through the houses, trying to figure out which one I was should be looking in. Alistair suddenly pointed at one. Opening the door of the house, I heard a gasp. It seemed to come from the oak armoire. I crossed the small room to stand before it.

"Bevin, are you in here?" I asked.

"Uh… yes. Who sent you?" came the muffled reply.

"Kaitlynn," I answered. "Why are you in there?"

"I wanted to be brave, but then I heard something. I thought it might be one of the monsters that got Mother and I hid. I, uh, I guess that wasn't very brave, was it?" he explained.

"Why don't you come out now?" I asked. "It's alright."

"O-okay. I'm coming out now." The armoire's door opened with a faint creak. A boy about twelve years old with sand coloured hair climbed out. "Okay, I'm out. What do you want?" Bevin surveyed me suspiciously.

"Go to your sister in the chantry. She is very worried about you."

Bevin bowed his head and slunk out the door.

"How did you-?" I began.

"I grew up here," Alistair reminded me.

I thanked the Warden before following Bevin out the house to the chantry. I found the brother and sister just inside the building.

"Thank you for finding Bevin," said Kaitlynn sincerely. Bevin ducked his head when I looked at him.

"Is there anything I could do for you?" I asked.

"Without Mother, we would go to a Home. We have family in Denerim we could live with if we had coin to get there…" she trailed off.

I turned to my companions. Alistair and Leliana nodded, Clueless licked the boy's fingers and made Bevin smile. Sten and Morrigan just gazed through me like they wanted to knock our heads together. I dug in my pack, pulling out the amount of coin I wanted. "Ten sovereigns will be enough for a wagon?" I asked rhetorically as I handed the pile of gold to the girl.

"Wow, how can I thank you for this?" Kaitlynn gasped.

"Take care of yourselves when you get to Denerim. I don't want or need any other thanks than the looks on your faces," I laughed.

The siblings closed their mouths. "Maker watch over you!" they called as they went outside.

"Don't even," I warned Morrigan.

"That was a very kind thing you did for those two," Leliana said softly.

I strode down the foyer to the Mother's room again. A young woman with light brown hair was waiting for me.

"Ser Perth would like you to bless charms so we might win tonight's battle," I announced.

"The Maker will grant the knights the battle if He believes they deserve it. I cannot _make_ Him." The Mother's voice was kind, as though she thought I might not understand her.

I thought for a minute. "What if you give me the charms and say you blessed them?"

"But that would be a lie." The Revered Mother frowned, not following.

"No, it would be the same as if you blessed them, it might make sure they win, it might not. I wouldn't say a word otherwise," I explained, wondering whether I would get away with my turning her sentence around to confuse her.

The Mother offered me a couple of holy symbols on a chain. "Here are your charms."

I looked blankly at them. I saw Morrigan from the corner of my eye, doing the same. I feared if I touched them I would make a tasteless joke, like make sizzling noises and yell _it burns_ at the top of my lungs. I also didn't want to take them for what they stood for. I thought the Chantry was to frighten children into obedience, to keep annoyingly close tabs on mages.

Alistair sensed I wasn't going to take the symbols and accepted them himself. I made myself thank the Mother before hurrying out of the building again, the air suddenly heavy and close.

"Thanks," I said when I regained myself. "Sorry about that. I should have said something. Anything. I'm just not big into the Maker and the Chantry."

Alistair shook his head. "No, you had no reason to say anything of the sort. I'm not very religious either."

Leliana threw the two of us a glance of surprise.

"I should have just sucked it up and taken them from her. Now I seem rude," I admitted.

Morrigan flashed me a wide-eyed look as if I'd suggested taking tea with the Archdemon.

"It's okay," Alistair assured.

"Thanks," I repeated.

I started up the hill to where Ser Perth waited. When we stood with him, Alistair gave the knight the charms. The man raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Thank you, I'll let the men know right away." As Ser Perth turned, he added, "I don't think you're needed for anything else until nightfall. If you are ready, you can wait here."

I thought for a split second; no, we were done. Glancing at the sky, it was noon. After a quick lunch, the six of us hunkered down to wait.


	20. A Waiting Game

_I know I said I wouldn't be updating, but... I couldn't resist... Without [much] further ado, the Cheese Story!_

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I am only a fish living in said pond._

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><p><strong>A Waiting Game<strong>

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><p>From where we sat in the shade, I could see the sunlight reflecting on the water of Lake Calenhad. I enjoyed the view until I realized anyone at the Tower could see the same thing. Then I looked away.<p>

"So, not liking the blinding view?" Alistair asked as we tangled gazes.

"No, I like it. It's just..." I trailed off, wondering how my reason would sound to someone else.

"It's just dot, dot, dot?"

"People at the Tower can see it. I feel bad for them." My explanation sounded lame to my own ears. I looked away from the other Warden. "That's stupid, I know."

"I don't think so. I mean, you miss them and you _were_ them. You understand what it was to be there. Why don't I tell you a story?" he responded.

I raised an eyebrow. "The Don't Eat The Cheese story by chance?"

"The same. Once there was a little boy. He never knew his parents and lived in his almost-uncle's stable in this very town. His almost-uncle married an Orlesian woman one day. Every prominent noble in the land came that day, including the little boy's father, the king of Fereldan.

"Another family, the Teryn of Highever's, were here and there was a boy named Fergus and his sister Elissa. The Couslands and Howes - another noble family - were here as friends, and their children were playing together. The lone little boy saw them from the stable since he wasn't allowed to leave the small building.

"Then the little Cousland girl came intothe stable. The boy was so surprised, he fell out of the hay loft he was sitting in. He fell right in front of her. She brought him food and they ate together.

"They drank wine and ate cheese. They became quite drunk and were found by the King. Elissa got into trouble, but her brother and the young Howe boy, Nathaniel, managed to drag her out of it. The little boy who lived in the Redcliffe stable was mostly ignored - I think that's what happened," Alistair frowned and waved a hand. "Then, the next day the boy was rather ill from being so drunk. He didn't like what happened to the cheese. So he snuck into the tavern at the top of the hill and warned the ocupants about the wine and cheese not mixing well."

I crossed my legs comfortably and laughed as Alistair finished his tale. "You really did that?" I forced out.

He nodded solemnly. "Sure did. Wise words of wisdom from one that age. Truly, do not eat the cheese. It is in no way fun."

I shook my head. "Oh, Alistair. I got drunk once at the Tower on a dare with Anders and Jowan. Was Finn ever mad when he found out we had stolen from the kitchen!"

"And what happened? Did you get caught?"

"No, but Enchanter Kale was very suspicious in class when he saw the three of us the next day." Smiled fondly at the memory.

Then we lapsed back into silence. The sun continued to slide away into the next world.

Torches lit along the path to the castle. A cry went up.

Guards began rushing this way and that. "What's going on?" Leliana asked Ser Perth as he moved away.

"The monsters are coming."


	21. Armed and Dangerous, Ready for Action

_Sorry this was so long coming. I hope it was worth the long and painful wait. I had fun writing this, the first major fight in the story so far. I would like to take this time to thank my fans. Your continued support is somthing wonderful. I appreciate every comment guys! Thanks be to MapleMaven who relinquished this title to me. Your rendition of this title is well-played my friend._

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond, I am only a fish who can't type a sentence write noaw._

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><p><strong>Armed and Dangerous, Ready for Action<strong>

**"Take back the city, for yourself tonight/I'll take back the city for me" - Take Back the City ~ Snow Patrol**

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><p>My blood turned to ice in my veins. I wasn't ready for this. I had barely survived Ostagar without freezing up, what could I do? I couldn't run. In the fraction of a heartbeat as I thought frantically, remembering the screams of pain, Clueless looked up worriedly. Somehow, seeing my loyal mabari ready to stand at my side even though I was terrified gave me the strength to drag myself up with my staff. I took a handful of steps closer to the barricade across the mountain path and planted my staff in the cool earth. I twisted about to lock gazes with my companions.<p>

"Defend yourselves!" I shouted back with more bravado than had felt a moment ago. Now my veins fizzled with fire. This was what I was built for. I was a mage – a force to be feared on the battlefield. All I had to do was prove this was where I belonged.

Over the mountains, the last rays of the dying sun reached their last light. There was already a half-moon in the sky directly above us.

The first thing I noticed was the stench. Decay, something long forgotten rotting in the night. And then I saw them.

They were animated corpses, bodies with no real life, decomposing as Fade spirits kept them from eternal sleep. Hordes surged over the path, coming to meet their living neighbours.

A few paces away was a large oil slick Ser Perth and his men set up earlier. Well, they tipped the oil all over, that was pretty much the extent of the 'setting up'. I burst a fireball in it, igniting the very rock. Morrigan added lightning to the clouds gathering overhead, obscuring the moon.

The signal to charge was given a heartbeat before the creatures were upon us. Fighting broke out all around me. Townspeople led by Murdoch, a small group following Dwyn, Perth's knights and my companions all stood shoulder to shoulder until then. We filled the path and pressed into the passage's walls.

Archers set up behind Morrigan and I, using the corpse-empty space we provided. Leliana joined them and produced her own bow. Alistair and Sten jumped into the fray while Clue stayed near.

I sent bursts of flame, electricity and ice into the heaving throng of animated bodies. A pile slowly grew in a semi-circle around Morrigan and I. After a while, I noticed the rush of energy fading and the strange feeling of having to prove myself abated. I noticed soldiers and townspeople alike falling and making a momentous struggle upright. I switched over to supporting; healing men until the moon rose high into Morrigan's storm. The maker of the heavy cloud cover fed energy into it every now and then, expanding it and building layer after layer of cloud.

Morrigan concentrated on dealing heavy damage to any monster unfortunate enough to make the mistake of shambling in her direction. Flamed remains blew through a sudden wind from her side.

The storm broke. Rain hissed down fast, drenching to the skin in seconds. Where it landed on the corpses they caught fire. But when it landed on allies, the icy-cool relief was palpable. They swung weapons with renewed strength.

At last no more creatures came down the pass. A knight came pelting up the hillside to where my companions and I were catching our breath.

"They… came from the… lake. Attacking town," the man forced out in ragged gasps.

I tore down the hill, not even checking to see who was – or wasn't – following. In front of the chantry the fighting was the thickest. The remaining men were limping and bleeding copiously.

Morrigan turned into a giant grizzly and began mauling the corpses, Clueless lunging beside her. Taking one last look around, I launched myself into the mass of bodies. Even as I rushed from person to person healing, I took over feeding the storm. Mixing in thunder that stunned the monsters and lightning, I caught an approving grunt from Morrigan-bear. She rampaged through the small group of corpses the storm spared.

It didn't take long for us to finish cleaning up the monsters.

I looked up when the battle was over to dissipate the clouds. The stars were gone, the glow of the moon barely visible through the first streamers of sun pushing up from the lake.

I felt exhausted. My arms ached and head pounded. Footsore, I looked sluggishly for a place to rest as I tried to keep my eyes open a minute longer. But before I could sneak off for a nap, Murdoch and Perth crowded around us with their men.

"Oh, great," I mumbled quietly.

"Thank you for helping us," Murdoch said gruffly and backed away.

"Cheers for Aira the Grey Warden!" shouted Ser Perth.

The crowd answered with a chorus of, "Aira!"

I ducked my head and screwed up every ounce of wakefulness and yelled, "Cheers to Ser Perth and Murdoch!"

The gathered men raised their voices again.

"Congratulations, Redcliffe, this battle and victory belong to you!" I shouted when I could make myself heard again. In the resulting cheering and whooping I began shouldering my way though the mob.

I found a quiet corner near the smithy where I plunked down against the wall and let my eyes close. I was aware of people sleeping next to me as I drifted off.

X

_Sleeping still I woke in an empty field. It was silent and still in an eerie way. I felt a shadow slope across me, blocking out the sun. Dark whispers floated into my ear, but the voice was harsh and difficult to understand. A cold hand dropped onto my arm and spun me around. I was looking at – _

"Aira?" I was looking at Alistair. "Aira, I've been trying to wake you for ten minutes, get up," he muttered darkly.

The sun was fully up and Morrigan blotted it out every once in a while as she paced back and forth along the wall. Sten stood nearby, amusing Clueless with some long tale of a qunari. Leliana was the only one still asleep.

"Hey," I complained. "How come Lel gets to sleep more?" I cracked the other eye open.

"What?" Alistair looked behind him at the sleeping woman. "Not again, I just woke her up!"

I called to the mabari as he began to slink my way in the middle of Sten's wild tale. Clue bounced over as Alistair began prodding Leliana awake again.

"Hey boy," I greeted as I rubbed his forehead vigourously. Clueless wagged his tail, hitting the other Warden in the back of the head.

"Clueless, please quit that now," Alistair complained. He stood up and stuck his tongue out at me over the dog's head.

I laughed and climbed to my feet. I rolled my shoulders to rid my arms of the pins and needles feeling. I looked around and heard someone calling me. Up on the hilltop I could see somebody waving their arms around. "How long have you been there?" I wondered aloud.

Morrigan squinted in that direction. "Perhaps we should consider posing such questions to them?"

"Good idea, let's go. Leliana, come on," I turned to where she was rubbing her eyes wearily.

"In a moment, I can catch up," she said.

Motioning to Sten, I started up the path. When we got to the top of the hill I recognized Bann Teagan. With him was a woman near his age with red hair. She wore a fancy dress. She gazed at us with an air of obvious distaste.

"Who eez dis Tea-gan?" she demanded in a heavy Orlesian accent that I had difficulty following when she spoke quickly.

"I am Aira," I explained. "A Grey Warden."

"Isolde, what's going on in the castle?" asked Teagan.

"I – something eez in ze castle. Connor and I are left alone. Eamon too, but no one else has been spared." I realized this was the Arlessa. Isolde's voice was high with desperation. "Please, Tea-gan, you must return to ze castle with me!"

The bann turned to me. "I will go with Isolde."

"No way are you going alone," I replied immediately.

"You can get into the castle through a passageway accessible under the windmill. My signet ring unlocks the trap door. You will come out in the dungeons, from there, follow the halls into the courtyard. Open the door for Ser Perth and his men," Teagan listed.

I nodded. "See you on the flipside."

Teagan and Isolde turned up the path to the castle and disappeared around the bend after I received the nobleman's ring.

I crossed the outcropping to the windmill Something was wrong. It didn't all fit right; Isolde was hiding something important.

"Sten, stay here and make sure no one follows us," I ordered after crossing the outcrop to the door of the windmill.

As I turned the door handle I couldn't shake the feeling some nasty surprise awaited.


	22. Surprise, Surprise

_This is a take on the scene you have seen at least a million times already. The end is really all that's important, pay attention to that if nothing else. I'd like to thank MiiYu and Mave for your continued support. You guys are why this chapter got up today! Sorry it's a day late._

_BioWare designed, built and sold the pond. I'm only hallucinating after drinking the water. Kidding, drugs aren't funny!_

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><p><strong>Surprise, Surprise<strong>

_- Out of the Frying Pan (And Into the Fire) ~Meat Loaf_

I pushed the windmill door open. A wall of magic hit me full in the face unexpectedly. I reeled back in confusion as I tried to shake it off. It felt familiar, like I'd experienced it before. The musty milling room smelled like limes under the wheat. I shook my head, no. It couldn't be.

Clueless let out a small whine. He was sniffing at a trapdoor partially covered be milling equipment after scooting through my legs. Alistair was blinking as though recovering from a punch in the face.

"You feel it too?" I asked him. I shot Morrigan a glance.

The witch shook her head. Alistair pinched the bridge of his nose and murmured an affirmative.

"Leliana, Sten: stay here and guard the entrance," I said, barely above a shocked whisper. I swallowed and began shifting old equipment to open the trapdoor. With some help the way was clear. I touched Bann Teagan's ring to the wood and the lock clicked. Alistair swung it silently open.

"I wish I knew about this about ten years ago," he breathed wistfully.

I snapped my fingers and a ghostly light flickered to life by my shoulder. It threw a ladder into sharp relief when I climbed into the hole.

I jumped off the bottom rung of the ladder when the ground was illuminated. I landed jarringly on hard-packed earth; knees buckling painfully. The walls were concave, forming a tunnel, and covered in damp. I began stalking quietly down the pathway. Shortly after hearing Alistair swear and Morrigan gasp, Clueless trotted ahead of me.

"How did – " I began.

"Climbed down backwards. I didn't see him when I jumped and nearly flattened him." Alistair's voice floated eerily forward.

Clue ran point until we reached a door. I turned the knob, but before I did anything else, it swung open. I entered the room, unprepared for what I would see.

More corpses were harassing someone in a cell. We had walked into the dungeon. Our little group jumped in swiftly. I didn't so much as glance into the cell until Alistair stowed his sword over his shoulder again.

I knew what I would find. I reluctantly stepped into the light and peered right into his face.

"Jowan," I spat coldly.

"Aira?" exclaimed my maleficar best friend.

"Why are you here?" I demanded.

"Uh, long story?" he stalled.

"Summarize."

"Isolde was looking for a maleficar to teach Connor. Her son is a pretty powerful mage. I was… Loghain requested… erm – I was hired to poison the Arl," Jowan admitted. "When the undead started, the Arlessa put me in here. Connor is strong – I think he brought something across the Veil."

I concentrated for a moment. When I heard the tumblers catch in the lock I yanked the door open.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Alistair. "He's a maleficar, we can't just –"

"Is that Alistair talking, or the templar?" I asked acidly. I knew I was letting my mood get the better of me.

"I –" Alistair attempted again.

"Oh, let the boy out," Morrigan ran him over. "You are a templar, yes?"

I grabbed Jowan by the collar and pulled him out of his cell. "Be good," I growled through clenched teeth.

I led the way out of the cell block by the door at the end of the aisle. Why was I being such a cold bitch? This was Jowan, who I threw my life down for at the Tower, not some maleficar scumbag I'd found in my tent.

The next room was a mess. Rubble filled one corner, empty vases that stood about hip-height were clustered together in the centre of the floor. I spotted an open chest by the door upstairs to the courtyard. Inside was a small bag with a dragon statue carefully wrapped up. I put it safely in my pack. Maybe I could make peace with Alistair later?

"No blood magic it we get into a fight. Normal backup'll do," I said to Jowan before carefully opening the door. I sprinted to the portcullis as soon as I could squeeze through the doorway. I flicked the switch and concentrated on throwing my weight against the crank until Ser Perth and company could duck under the sharp spikes.

I turned to the monster already engaging Alistair, Jowan and Clueless. It was a revenant, some foul spirit templars caught and sealed in phylacteries. I hit it with a blast of fire that heated its sword. An unfortunate side effect. Alistair hit the revenant with his shield and I turned to an undead archer on the steps leading to the massive castle doors. I froze the corpse and used Morrigan's shatter trick from Lothering. Pieces of corpse rained down around the knights, clattering against the stonework of the courtyard.

I bounded up the stairs and pulled them hard. As they opened, Alistair and Morrigan joined me, having dispatched the revenant. As I peeked in, there were corpses standing idly across the entrance hall.

I waited for the knights to join us and Jowan before barging in. The corpses fell on us immediately. Bony fingers tore at my hair and robes. I struck out with my staff, sending one monster to the ground.

Morrigan turned into a bear and was batting the creatures away easily with long sweeps of a paw. She cleared a path through the corpses quickly.

Once we were backed to the wall, Jowan and I began throwing fireballs and Life Drains into the mess of bodies. Corpses collided, spreading flames. Soon enough, they had all burned out.

Alistair darted to my side. I realized I was leaning on the door. I ducked out of the way. He took a deep breath before throwing his weight against the door. I knew the inhabitants of the castle were waiting on the other side for us.

Isolde stood across the hall, looking worriedly into space. A boy, Connor, was watching tiredly as Teagan turned somersaults and backflipped.

Alistair gasped as he joined me in the room. I felt a rush of sympathy for him.

"Mother! Who is this? You said." Connor's voice had the strange echoing quality of the demonically possessed.

"I – Connor, they're here to help you," Isolde said, not addressing her son. "Please, don't be like this."

"Mother!"

"Nobody talks to him like that!" Teagan crouched at Connor's feet and cackled up at the boy. "Nobody!"

"Quiet, Uncle," hissed the demon with a swift kick to the Bann's side.

Connor suddenly surfaced. "Mo-Mother? What is… happening to me?" He reflexively blinked several times.

"Oh, Connor!" Isolde jolted out of her reverie.

An eerie smile slid across the boy's face as the demon took control again. "Attack!"

Undead climbed to their feet all around. They shambled towards us. I hit one to my right with a bolt of electricity, making the energy jump around the room. The bolt struck four or five other monsters with limited success. The Jowan's staff exploded flames that filled the room. Panic fluttered in my chest until I realized the strange blue fire didn't touch anything except the corpses.

The flames died out as the last body turned to ash. I looked around the room, sensing something was amiss.

"Where's Connor?" Jowan asked, a note of worry seeping in.

"Isolde? Teagan?" I queried.

Teagan stood up, he was in control of himself again. Isolde looked at me, eyes dark with fear.

"Where is Connor?" I echoed.

"He ran away. Ze fighting, it scares him," Isolde replied at her feet.

"How interesting," Morrigan drawled. "He fears fighting when he is the one who began it."

"Isolde, why didn't you tell us about Connor?" I demanded. My voice betrayed my frustration.

"You might have brought templars to kill him or take him away." The Arlessa sounded miserable.

"He _has _been possessed," Morrigan pointed out sharply.

"I wouldn't normally suggest slaying a child, but I don't really see an alternative," Alistair commented quietly.

"We could bring him to the Tower." Even as I suggested it, I doubted that would accomplish anything other than Alistair's option.

Jowan paled. "We-" he cleared his throat – "I have an idea," he said tentatively.

"What are you doing here?" Isolde demanded coldly.

"What kind of idea?" I put in warily.

"Blood magic," admitted the maleficar, "but I could send you into the Fade right now."

"But there's a catch, right?" Alistair sniped. I half-wondered what it was, my mind shied away from the possibilities.

Jowan studied the floor and mumbled something.

I leaned forward to better hear him. "What?"

"It requires a sacrifice," he said more audibly.


	23. Nasty Business

_So sorry this took so long. I was writing as much as I could but not really for this._

_So, I hate Redcliffe. Eamon and Isolde like to hide around random doors and pop out at me when I least expect them to. Here's my revenge for that._

_BioWare owns whatever I don't. I own whatever BioWare doesn't. Share and enjoy!_

**Nasty Business**

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><p>"I'll do it," Isolde said immediately.<p>

My mind raced. If there was another way. One that didn't end in tears… but no. The templars would kill Jowan on sight. Connor would likely get the same treatment. There simply wasn't enough mages to send little old me into the Fade on our own either. Maybe this was the only option. I sneaked a peek at Morrigan who was nodding thoughtfully to herself. Alistair seemed to be grappling with his own thoughts.

"Let's do it," I said quietly. "If you really don't think there's any other way."

Jowan shook his head miserably. He looked as though he hated himself for even putting the idea forward.

"And are you certain, Isolde?" I turned to the Arlessa.

She nodded absently. "Tell Eamon and Connor I love zem."

"Get ready," muttered Jowan.

I steadied myself; giving him a terse nod.

Isolde bowed her head, murmuring the words of the Chant of Light, "_Blessed are those that_-"

Jowan's eyes slid closed. His lips moved as he breathed the spell. His hands raised, as did Isolde. She lifted into the air as though she weight nothing. Then her head snapped back with a sickening crunch. Blood poured over her chin and covered my face. No one else was touched and though I needed to be splattered to be affected by the spell, I was thoroughly repulsed. My stomach churned as I waited. I clutched my staff to calm myself. Then I felt the ground sucking me down and my vision faded…

When I opened my eyes I was standing on a hill with a bed beside me. A man with grey hair and a beard stood gaping at me.

"Hello?" I spoke to him.

"Hello, have you seen my boy, Connor?" he answered. He seemed preoccupied. I was confused for a beat before realizing I was speaking to Arl Eamon.

"Yes, Is he here?" I replied.

"I can hear him sometimes. I can't move from here to search for him. My feet won't leave the ground." Eamon's brow creased with worry.

"I'll be back," I lied. I turned on my heel, mentally cringing at the noble, and plowed down the hill.

Where the ground leveled, a stone arch rose up. A flowing purple substance filled it like a flag in high winds. A Fade portal. I cautiously moved through it, holding in my mind the demon's presence. On the other side was a room containing trees and sky bleeding together like a watercolour painting left out in the rain. A desire demon waited for me.

It looked like a beautiful woman at first glance. After that, I could see the long horns that swept back from its brow, holding a purple cloud. A snake tail was held aloft behind the demon and the skin had a blueish tinge. It wore only a heavy and low-riding skirt, chunky necklaces and nipple rings. The desire's eyes lacked irises and pupils. The teeth were filed into sharp points and the claws were over an inch and a half long.

"You dare enter my realm," it drawled in a silky smooth voice. "I can see what you wish, let me give it to you."

I scowled. "What I want is your death. Will you give me that?"

With a hiss the demon curled its tail protectively around it. "I can make you a deal," the desire tried again.

"Stuff it demon," I growled, already planning my attack.

I let go of a surge of energy from my staff. It flared a deep russet as it crackled against the force field hastily tossed up by the demon.

"You cannot touch me," giggled the demon loudly. It hurled a ball of vibrant orange at me. I dodged it instinctively, throwing myself to the side. As the ball flew by where my head had been an instant before, I distinctly heard a scream trailing behind it. The orange sizzled a hole in the ground an armlength deep and a foot wide.

I let my staff fire randomly, copper sparks bouncing harmlessly off the barrier the demon had conjured. As it worked up another attack, I thought quickly. The force field was obviously made up of energy. No matter what I threw at it, the barrier would deflect – or worse, absorb. Except…

A brown ball slammed into my chest. I doubled over and concentrated on breathing. Suddenly I felt weak and slumped to the ground. The demon was siphoning my energy. Why? There may as well have been a candle light over my head. To fuel the barrier.

It didn't want to use its own power to take away from the spells available to play with me.

So I inverted the demon's plan. I gave away my mana. Poured most of my strength into the shield. I heard snapping and crackling then nodded. My hunch was correct then.

The demon spat and tried to zap away its protection but found it held no control over it anymore. My eyelids dropped low from the effort. I was about to pass out when I finally overloaded the demon's barrier. I shook myself and plied the force field. I folded it around the desire. With a wild scream, it was all over with but to go back.

I was blinking awake to Jowan and Alistair leaning in anxiously.

"Whoa," I exclaimed, not expecting that awakening.

"Ugh," put in Morrigan, the witch leaning over too.

I was shivering, but damp with sweat. "I agree: ugh."

Teagan crossed the room as I stood slowly. "Is it done then?" he asked nervously.

I nodded heavily. "The demon is gone."

"You look like you're going to fall asleep on your feet," Alistair added quietly.

"I am," I replied through a yawn.

"You may go now," Teagan said, dismissing Jowan.

I gave the other mage a long look.

"Thank you Aira. I mean it," he breathed.

I felt bad, knowing what was coming. He had resigned himself to his fate then.

"What should be done about the maleficar?" Teagan prompted.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. I couldn't possibly… A glance at the motionless heap of Isolde's bloody body made me angry with myself. Why had I agreed?

"It's up to you; Eamon could decide but…" the bann trailed off.

I turned to my companions. Alistair's eyes had glazed over in the direction of the door, Clue let off a deep growl and Morrigan looked away.

"He will be punished to make up for his crimes," I sentenced Jowan. After the blood magic and running away and trying to escape with Lily, Jowan's alternative was the Rite of Tranquility. And that was only if Irving got a say. Death was what Jowan wanted, death was what he would receive.

"I doubt Eamon would argue with you." Teagan bowed his head.

"What can we do to help the Arl?" I changed the subject.

"Isolde sent out guards to search for the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Andraste's remains are said to be hidden in Ferelden and have magical healing properties. Maker knows conventional healing hasn't worked on my brother. Nothing has worked yet."

"And just how am I supposed to find a pot of dirt in a whole country?" I asked caustically.

"Seek out Brother Genitivi. He lives in the Denerim Market district. That is the best lead we've got. The Brother is something of an expert on the Urn myth," Teagan ignored my tone.

I dipped my head and turned to Alistair. He was glancing about wistfully.

"What?" I broke into his thoughts.

"I remember after I began at the Chantry, I threw my mother's amulet at the wall. I was angry that Eamon didn't visit me. Isolde wouldn't let him. The amulet smashed. It was the single most stupid thing I'd ever done," Alistair explained.

I left the main hall. I hated the sight of the place. Blindly walking, I turned into a small study. On the desk was a small trinket. It was round, a green stone laid into a clay disk. All around the edges were cracks were the amulet had been mended. I picked it up and went to pass it to Alistair, but he was in his own little world again.

Morrigan cleared her throat loudly.

"Time to go," I said.

We left the castle now that I was paying attention again. Picking up Leliana and Sten in the village, I filled them in as we went. By that time, the sun was sinking low to the shore of Lake Calenhad again. As I got to the part about Isolde sacrificing herself, Alistair stiffened.


	24. Coming Unglued

_So I finally decided to end my cruel punishment of you guys. Over a month withour Taints. Wow. I was beginning to get a wee bit twitchy. Here you are: the dreaded yelling bit._

_BioWare is that stuffy you play with long after you tell anyone you stopped for me. What about you?_

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><p><strong>Coming Unglued<strong>

_Maybe if I fall asleep I won't breathe right / Can nobody hear me / I've got a lot that's on my mind – Hear Me ~ Imagine Dragons_

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><p>The journey back to camp was subdued. Alistair seemed trapped in his mind, Morrigan was brooding, Sten was silent as ever, Leliana for once had very little to say and I was thinking of the way Isolde's mouth had opened in a silent scream right before she fountained blood. Clueless picked up on the mood and trotted along quietly.<p>

When we reached camp, I sat heavily on a stump behind the tents after Leliana announced it was her turn for supper detail. I kept thinking the same thing over and over again. _What if I had left Jowan in his cell? _

Not long after, Alistair stormed up to me, face dark and harsh.

"What were you thinking?" he demanded.

"What was I…? I was trying to help," I shot back, slightly confused.

"Oh, sure. I'm sure that's what Isolde thought," Alistair spat.

"Is that what this is about?" I asked in disbelief. Hadn't I beat myself up about this enough?

"No, this is about blue squirrels eating my socks!" exclaimed Alistair sarcastically.

"Isolde knew what she was doing," I said, trying to fight down my anger.

"No she didn't. She was desperate," shouted the other Warden. His face morphed from anger to shock and finally settled on disgust. "What will Eamon think when he wakes up to find her dead and Redcliffe in that mess?"

When I didn't answer, he nodded with a snort. "That's what I thought." The Warden turned away.

I was so angry, he wasn't even listening to me. I stood up and grabbed his shoulder. "Hey!" I screamed, spinning him back to face me. "If you felt like this, why not speak up a little sooner? Preferably when Isolde was still _alive_?" I shouted in his face. "Come to think of it, why not just stop Jowan and drag us to the Tower? You _are_ a templar, right? You certainly know how to get my attention!"

An injured look flickered on the edge of Alistair's features. I ignored it, carrying on out of control of my bad temper. "So you think I should have killed Connor? Is that what you wanted? To kill Eamon's son?" I raged on without thinking.

Alistair reeled back as though I'd slapped him. A hot flush brought colour to his cheeks and ears.

"I –" I began, suddenly aware of what I'd said. I wanted to snatch back those hurtful words so badly…

"No," Alistair interrupted coldly. "That's what I suggested."

"But that's –" I tried again."

"I can't believe we didn't go to the Circle!" He threw his hands into the air, nearly clipping my face. "Why not?"

"You – why… why not? I can't believe y – I'll tell you why we didn't," I was incoherent with fury. "Did I mention sometime that I have a nice cell waiting for me at Aeonar? There's also one under Jowan's name. The templars likely would have murdered Connor without hesitation and then arrested Jowan and I."

Alistair flinched. I swept on, my mood running away with me. "Know why?" I challenged. "Because Connor was possessed. The templars would have killed him on sight. Don't you remember that part of training?" I knew I had gone way too far but I was voicing my own doubts that had been trying to claw their way out all evening. It felt good to let them out, but I knew I was being unreasonable.

"Aira – " Alistair cut in hotly.

"No, listen," I yelled, shoving my face into his aggressively. "Why do you think that the templars would have helped? I doubt Gregoir would be content with making me Tranquil. I mean, I've consorted with a known maleficar, aided his escape from the Tower and helped him destroy his phylactery. I'm the reason Connor was posses – " I broke off suddenly. I fell to my knees with the full understanding hitting me like a physical blow. "I'm the reason Connor was possessed. It's my fault. My fault Eamon was poisoned, Redcliffe suffered from the undead…"

"Aira…?"

"Do you know how many people I've killed?" I asked quietly.

The Warden opened his mouth. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to hear.

"Isolde, Jowan, everyone dead or missing from Redcliffe, every undead corpse," I listed. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we should have been killed instead of Duncan. He wouldn't have screwed everything up like I have. I should die for what I've done." I wanted to go on, but lost all ability to speak.

"Aira no," Alistair was still furious, I could tell. But sympathy softened the sharpness in his expression.

I bowed my head. I was finished with our argument. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

Alistair left me alone. I just slumped and stayed there. I felt terrible knowing what I had done. It was my fault. And everyone knew it. After I had stayed wallowing in my grief for some time, Leliana called us together for supper. I took my place without a thought. Alistair shot me a dark glower and sat between Leliana and Sten. No one spoke to me the whole evening, sensing a black cloud hanging over my head. I shoveled away the food. Normally I enjoyed Lel's night to cook, but the meal tasted of sawdust and was dry.

When I was finished, I handed my dishes to Morrigan and tossed a brusque thank-you over my shoulder as I headed into the forest. I wandered a short distance from camp. The fire remained in earshot, but was hidden from view when I leaned against a mossy tree. I heaved a sigh and began picking at the green vegetation clinging to the brown bark. What was wrong with me? How had I let such a lapse in judgment happen?

"You shouldn't be wandering alone," Leliana said softly at my shoulder.

I jumped almost into the lowest branches of the tree in shock. I dropped a hand to my chest. "You nearly frightened me to death," I scolded darkly.

I was taken aback when she laughed. "I doubt many people could boast scaring a Grey Warden."

Such merriment was jarring compared to Alistair and my venomous words from earlier. I had almost forgotten how good it felt. "Aren't you going to lecture me about my choice?" I asked suspiciously.

"Whatever for?" the ex-Sister queried. "You are old enough to understand the consequences of your actions. Isolde was too."

"Try telling Alistair that," I growled.

"I'm not your messenger," Leliana retorted. "And can you blame him? You practically killed the closest thing he had to a mother."

"I know," I agonized, shoving a hand through my messy hair. "I just… All he does is tell me to make the decisions and then criticize them when they directly affect him. I want to yell at him for it!"

"And yet, when you did, he yelled back. He said something that he regretted after you did the same," Leliana pointed out. "I think you need to talk some things over, but I understand it isn't my place to tell you so."

"I value everyone's opinions," I said, thinking about the Tower and its lack of interest where opinions were concerned.

The other woman ducked her head in embarrassment. "That's…"

"Unorthodox?" I suggested.

"Very kind," corrected the Sister.

I hummed tunelessly for a moment. "You're right, of course. I should apologize." Even though I didn't want to admit defeat. "It's just going to take some time to swallow my pride, I think."

"Answering for your wrongs is always hard, but you don't want to lose Alistair's friendship, do you?" Leliana encouraged.

"No, I don't. Where is he?" I imagined ending the Blight on my own as incentive.

Leliana pointed me in the right direction.

The other Warden was brooding in front of his tent, as though considering pulling the plug on the long day. I cleared my throat and shuffled awkwardly before him.

"I've… um, I've been thinking about what you said earlier," he admitted.

"Yeah? I shouldn't have said it. I was just so angry. The words just… came out," I excused lamely.

"But I don't think you were wrong." He looked up. "We didn't really have a choice to go to the Tower."

"We did. When Duncan conscripted me, he basically made my life the Wardens'. The templars can't touch me."

"Jowan would have died. He was your friend once, right?"

"Once," I said softly, not meeting his gaze. "When he turned his back on the Tower, I realized I never really knew him. We were both Anders' friends, but he was always jealous of me."

"But – "

"No, I didn't come here to argue again," I interrupted. "I came to tell you I want everything to be okay between us. I'm sorry I went so far both in Redcliffe and earlier." Avoiding Alistair just felt… wrong.

"You were right. I should have spoken up sooner. You don't read minds. I had no reason to bite your head off. And I know what you are thinking."

I doubted that very much. My face must have said as much because he went on. "Really, you are beating yourself up over the phylactery incident. You think you shouldn't have let the blood mage get away.

"Stop thinking it!" I was taken aback by the forcefulness of the command."What did you think when you went to the First Enchanter to tell him about the mage?"

"I thought there was a solution to the problem," I answered, confused as to where he was going. "Irving would make sure everything turned out okay."

"And when you let him out at the Castle?" Alistair prompted.

"If it were me, I would want another chance to show I could do some good," I replied, staring at myself in Alistair's eyes.

"And when he suggested using blood magic?" Alistair's voice was no more than a whisper.

"Everything happens for a reason. He knew what he was doing." I still felt guilty for Jowan's and Isolde's deaths.

"Aira," Alistair's voice was gentle, "you didn't know when Jowan ran away he would be found by Loghain. You didn't know Jowan would be put up to poisoning Arl Eamon. Neither did the First Enchanter, nor the templars. If any of you had, it wouldn't have happened. If you think about it, it was all Loghain's fault. Not yours. If it hadn't have been for you, none of us – or Connor – would be here now," finished Alistair. A note of sadness crept into his voice and his eyes searched mine.

I nodded. He made sense. "Has anyone ever told you that you're handsome?" I blurted. Heat sprang to my face as I realized what had just come from my mouth.

Alistair looked shocked for a moment. Then he smiled good-naturedly. "Me? Handsome? No, I don't think anyone's said that. I've certainly never had a beautiful woman just come out and say that."

"You're handsome, and you know it," I laughed uncertainly.

"That's nice coming from you," he smiled. "Is is the part where I tell you the same?"

"Only if you mean it." I shrugged, suddenly really embarrassed.

"Maybe I'll wait until you aren't expecting it…" he said, only half to himself.

"Wait, you think I'm beautiful?"

"Well, there goes my 'wait' plan," Alistair sighed, shaking his head.

Something jumped to the forefront of my mind. "I have something that I think belongs to you!" I reached into a pocket. I withdrew the amulet I'd picked up in Eamon's study.

"Is this yours?"

Alistair's eyes widened and he took it from me. "This is… my mother's amulet?"

I explained to him where I'd found it. "He must have mended it for you after that day."

"Why would he do that?" Alistair gaped.

"Maybe you mean more to him than you thought?" I offered. "Anyway, you should have it."

"You remembered me talking about this?" Alistair looked up from the necklace. "Wow, I'm not used to people paying attention to me when I talk."

I was tempted to say _Huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, did you say something?_ But settled for, "Of course I remembered. You're special to me."

"What?" He frowned at me.

"Hmm?" I feigned innocence. Where had that come from?

"Anyway…" Alistair traced a line in the dirt with the toe of his boot. "I think it's time for my watch…"

I moved away, hiding a smile. I hadn't noticed the way he did that when he got embarrassed.

I skipped away, happy we'd made peace.

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><p><em>Feel free to drop me a review, okay? Thanks for reading again! <em>


	25. A New Problem

_Soooooo... hope everyone had a delightful holiday. Felt bad for leaving you hanging there for so long. Here we go on the road again! Thanks for bearing with me and leaving reviews even though I'm terrible at reliably getting this out for ya. Enjoy finally!_

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><p><strong>A New Problem<strong>

_And we're far from home/ And we're so happy - From Finner ~ Of Monsters and Men_

I snuck up behind Clueless and poked him in the side. The mabari spun to face me, squinting and wagging his tail.

"Hey boy," I greeted as I scratched his neck.

The dog bounced around, barking wildly. I gave him a hare and left. I went to my pack to find a bone for the warhound. As I was rooting around in my pack when I heard a high-pitched squeal. I spun around and shook my head at the sight before me. Alistair was curled into a tight ball at the ground beside Clue, the dog's ruff standing on end. I hurried over to where the Warden was crouched.

"He bit me!" exclaimed Alistair indignantly. He showed me his hand. There was a ring of painful-looking puncture wounds. They looked like they hurt a lot but weren't serious.

"There's hardly any blood drawn," I said mildly. "What were you doing to make him bite you?"

"I moved his food. With my hand," he admitted without meeting my gaze.

"He's a mabari, Alistair," I sighed.

"Sometimes I forget he's a war hound."

"Still Clueless, you shouldn't have," I addressed the dog. He ducked his head and flicked his ears. The mabari licked Alistair's hand and stared at the Warden with large eyes.

I patted Clue on the head before returning to the fire. Morrigan was back, warming her hands next to Leliana. Sten was nowhere to be found.

"This Brother Genetivi," began Alistair as he wandered over, "he lives in the Market District of Denerim. He is a scholar who's also the leading expert on the Urn of Sacred Ashes. We should go to see him now."

I thought for a moment before answering. "I think so."

Morrigan surprised me by nodding along. I spared a glance at Leliana. The woman was staring off into the forest, seemingly not following the discussion.

"If we must have the aid of Arl Eamon for whatever purpose," Morrigan added flatly.

"So it's settled then? We go to Denerim to find Genetivi," proclaimed Alistair. He sat across from us and stretched his legs toward the fire. The Warden rolled his shoulders with a pained expression.

Leliana suddenly resurfaced from her thoughts. "Denerim is a weeks' journey from here."

I thought wearily of the dull plodding that was our trip from Lothering to Redcliffe. I winced, not enjoying the mental image of having to repeat it. Retracing our steps didn't do a thing to ease my mind. Great.

By now, the moon was rising and stars were visible as tiny pinpricks of light. Sten emerged from the darkening trees muttering to himself in his language. Clue bounced about under the giant's feet excitedly. Sten turned and spoke to the mabari in the same hushed tone.

I stepped back from the fire saying my goodnight wishes. I crossed the clearing to my tent. Climbing into it, I couldn't resist thinking about Alistair. Something about his bashful honesty kept dragging back my thoughts. I closed my eyes with a sigh and fell asleep.

XOX

_I was standing all alone. Bodies littered the field. I could sense the shadows around me. The stench of decay and stifling heat hung in the air like a mouldy blanket. A massive dragon whipped overhead. It let out a thunderous bellow, as if to mock me. I reached out with my mind, chasing the darkspawn horde. I had time only to scream before the gruesome black tide crashed over me. _

XOX

I leaped out of my bedroll panting. It took me a moment to realize I was crouched and tensed in my tent. I relaxed, taking in long breaths to calm myself. I slowly pulled on my robes and crawled into the clearing.

Alistair was doing the same, eyes meeting mine in concern. Morrigan's gentle snoring reached my ears, covered only by Clueless trotting to my side. Leliana and Sten stood at the smouldering remains of the fire pit and seemed to be arguing over breakfast.

The air was clear, holding a chill. It was cool in the way you didn't notice until it had sunk beneath your skin and burrowed deeply into your bones. Until it lodged in your ears and made them burn it wasn't even there.

I called a greeting to the others in camp. Leliana and Sten broke off their discussion to echo me, Alistair nodded and reached his hands into the air in a long stretch, Bodahn and Sandal waved as they packed up their cart.

I let my Warden-sense wander. Suddenly, I met something totally unexpected and I froze.

"What?" Alistair hissed.

I turned to my dog. "Him," I breathed.

The other Warden's eyes glazed for a heartbeat. "He – what is he?"

Clueless wagged his tail in excitement. He cocked his head at me and a low whine rose in his chest.

Alistair bit his lip, deep in thought. It suddenly dawned on me. How had I missed it?

"He swallowed darkspawn blood at Ostagar," I explained. "But that flower I found in the Wilds that day, I gave it to the kennel master who healed Clue. He's practically a Grey Warden too."

Alistair's eyes grew round. He stared at the hound for a bit.

"Are we to stand about all day then?" Morrigan stalked over.

"Just had an important epiphany," I hedged.

The witch clucked in annoyance. "Food, walk, then discover."

I allowed Morrigan to herd us to the fire pit. She pushed Leliana and Sten aside and began concocting some strange form of food.

After a quiet breakfast that turned out to be really rather good, we pulled up camp. Leaving the small and silent woods behind, the motley party trudged along the Imperial Highway. Sure it wasn't the best idea to travel, Alistair and I being wanted criminals apparently and the others our accomplices, but it beat bushwhacking any day. Everyone – the tall kossith included – wore a heavy fur cloak. Our breaths billowed out and mixed together to make a single frosty cloud above.

As we made our steady way along the worn road, I noticed for the first time that the leaves had already changed and begun to fall. I wondered how I'd missed that happening. I let my mind turn over the last autumn I had seen.

A fall…? I must have still lived in the Alienage then. Still with my mother and older brother. He and I must still have been very young, I was seven and he had to have been no older than eleven. Far too young to die. The leaves were just beginning to turn when he had been brought back to us by the Hahren. My brother had been killed by a human beggar just inside the Market.

Theron, for that was his name, had gone into the Market District for Mother to get what little we could afford. The beggar murdered him for the small amount of coin in an alley. Mother had withdrawn after the memorial service. I grew angry at my abandonment and that was how I discovered my magic. I was carted off to the Tower, Kinloch Hold, in the centre of Lake Calenhad soon after.

A friend and I were playing in a quiet section of Alienage when it happened. She was now dead of the Plague. I charmed a small withering flower, hoping for a spot of brightness in my otherwise grey life. A templar had been passing by and felt the disturbance. In less than a month, Mother had both children torn away from her.

I used to be able to watch the forests surrounding the lake change and grow bare, but that didn't do the brilliant shades of vermillion, sun's rays gold and copper justice. This was so much better.

A leaf fluttered toward me, the frigid wind's teasing fingers playing with the small amber scrap. I caught it carefully and examined it. As I traced the veins through the leaf from one edge to another, I discovered it was the exact hue of Theron's eyes.

Leliana caught the movement and looked over. Alistair followed her gaze.

"What are you remembering?" the Sister asked. She sounded like she somehow knew it was a personal topic, one to be broached with care.

"Just thinking about the last autumn I saw up close," I answered heavily.

Leliana's brow creased and Alistair's eyes brightened in hopes of a story.

"I was in the Tower for ten years," I explained, unsure how else to begin. "Before then I lived in the Denerim Alienage with my family."

"Your family?" Sten frowned. "That is unusual."

"Not here it isn't," argued Alistair. "Everyone grows up with their parents."

"Well, except for those accompanying," I pointed out. I doubted very much Morrigan even had a living father. "Though, Leliana may have." I cast a sideways glance at her. She didn't confirm or negate my gentle pry.

Sten gave a huff of defeat. "Go on."

"I lived with my mother and brother," I said quietly. "My father died not long after I was born. Mother raised us alone for the most part. I had an aunt and uncle who lived just around the corner from us. Sadly, she died in a fight and he was preoccupied with his own son.

"At any rate, Adaia passed of a broken heart after I was taken away and Theron – " My voice cracked down to a croak. Tears welled in my eyes as his laughing face slipped to mind. The face that used to frequent my dreams before the taint chased him away. I never thought I would ever welcome it back after the terrors the darkspawn exposed me to.

Alistair looked at me, eyes full of sympathy. I wasn't being fair, his family was practically all gone too. Barring Eamon who never was really kind and Connor, the boy he barely knew. At least I still had my Tower friends. If I saw them again…

"Theron was killed in the Market a month before I learned I was a mage," I finished. I stared at my boots and the road disappearing under them. A weight dropped onto my shoulder. I looked up in confusion to see something unexpected. Morrigan had rested a hand there.

She offered a brisk nod. I returned it dumbly. The witch whisked away again, continuing to pester Sten aimlessly.

"I am sorry, to have lost so much…" Leliana shook her head, her mane of auburn hair glinting in the weak sunshine.

Alistair made a noise of agreement. I gazed at his face through teary eyes. Blurred at the edges from the dampness, he looked strangely like an elf my mother once knew. I felt like I should know who but couldn't put my finger on it. I realized he caught me staring and cleared my throat awkwardly and looked away.

XOX

We continued down the road for a couple hours as the sun climbed high into the sky. Its fiery fingers touched everything, wrapping the air in warmth. After a simple lunch the surroundings grew more and more rocky. Small lumps of limestone jutted from the grassy land covered in moss. Hillsides bristled with the stones.

Morrigan and Alistair were bickering – to no surprise of anyone – this time about the best use of spells in combat. Alistair claimed defense was the proper way to use magic which made sense given his templar training. The witch argued the best defense was a good offence. I tried to hold a neutral stance, not wanting to favour one or the other or allow them to tear into the other ruthlessly.

"Well, would you rather your injuries disappear or have less enemies?" Leliana asked, trying to help in the moderating of the two.

"'Twould be far better to be healed," said Morrigan practically.

"Less enemies," Alistair replied in the same instance.

I sighed and dragged a hand down my face in exasperation. "You are now arguing _against_ your original point."

Morrigan opened and closed her mouth several times before huffing and pursing her lips. Alistair's face folded sheepishly.

"This is making mediating interesting," Leliana said aside to me. I giggled at her deadpan comment.

We gave them a moment to regroup. I regarded the path ahead, not looking forward to ascending the steep rises coming up swiftly.

"What's the one where you do that thingy?" Alistair asked out of the blue.

I stared blankly at him. "I'm going to need a little more to go on than that descriptive mess."

Morrigan fixed the Warden with a hard stare and made _go on_ motions at him.

"You know, that thingy," he repeated, floundering. "You take the lifeforce of something and use it yourself."

"Drain life?" I guessed. "Morrigan would you call that - ?"

"Help! Help, oh please, help me!" A hysterical voice rose from the other side of the rise.

Leliana, Sten and I shared a glance and surged over the brow of the hill. We nearly collided with a somewhat battered woman sprinting in our direction.

"Oh, thank the Maker you came!" she gasped. "A group of bandits attacked our wagon."

"Where?" Leliana asked gently. "Show us please."

Clueless growled softly, the thick fur on his shoulders lifting.

The lady dipped her head and led us around the bend between two hills. An overturned wagon lay in the middle of the dip. A tall and mossy oak tree stood, its dead branches jabbing into the sky. I cast about, it looked like an ideal place for an ambush certainly. There were many places capable of concealing more than a handful of highwaymen.

All I could smell was the dead oxen that were hitched to the wagon yet. Any other sense was robbed from the crackling of a large blaze near our little group. There was a loud crunching sound that made me start. Whipping around, I spotted the bare oak laying against the sharp side of the hill and blocking the road. Alistair stood on the other side of it, eyes wide as he tried to find a path to us. When I turned back to the carnage of the wagon wreck, there were many more people standing about than there had been so recently.

I yanked my staff from my back and heard Sten draw his sword. He and Clueless launched themselves forward. Arrows landed at my feet and I looked up to see a pair of archers on the outcropping just above. A bolt of lightning crashed down from the sky, leaving only a couple piles of smoking ash and a laughing Morrigan at Alistair's side. I froze the woman that had lured us into the trap. She held her sword aloft next to Sten who dodged away as frost formed in spiraling patterns across her clothes. Clue pushed her over and a _clink_ reached my ears as an arm snapped off. Morrigan thawed the woman and Clueless tore at her until the screaming subsided. Alistair had scrambled under the tree and was parrying blows from an elf wielding twin daggers. Then the Warden knocked the smaller man to the ground.

I scanned the area. Nothing else stirred. I warily approached the elf, staff pointed to his chest, and kicked him in the side.

He groaned and slowly blinked open his dark green eyes. "Why am I not dead?" he mumbled blearily. "Now, don't get me wrong, waking up to such a sight is lovely, just… very unexpected."

Alistair clenched his hands into fists. "Why are we doing this?" he hissed.

"I want answers," I answered both in a hard voice.


	26. Can You Say Mixed Group?

_You would not believe the number of times I tried to say Alistair was Eamon's uncle in this chapter, rather than the other way around. *Facepalm. Uh, anyways… Thanks for checking this out and staying with me for so long. And for putting up with my sporadic – at best – update schedule. Sorry about that, folks!_

_Yeah, another thing, I have no idea where this one was going. It kind of took on a whole mind of its own while I wrote. This turned out nothing like I expected it to. _

* * *

><p><strong>Can You Say "Mixed Group"?<strong>

_We share the same spaces - The Stairs ~ INXS_

We stopped for the night a short walk off the road in a pine stand. Bodahn looked quite surprised to see the Antivan assassin following us into camp. The elf was astonished to see the merchant too. Introductions went around and Sandal seemed very excited to have a new friend. Sten looked on in mild dissatisfaction – but then, he always did – while Morrigan kept staring daggers at Zevran. Leliana held one eye on the new member of our little group and Alistair's hand hadn't left the hilt of his sword since the tussle on the road. Zevran seemed to ignore them all, absently scratching Clueless's ears as the mabari leaned along my side. It had taken a little convincing to get the elf so close to the war hound but now Zevran appeared to be making small talk with the dog.

Morrigan and I made supper, not forgetting the fact the Antivan was in fact an assassin. He looked on in chagrin.

"So, where are we going?" Zevran finally broke the awkward silence that had descended upon us during the meal.

"Denerim," Alistair replied curtly after I glared at him to speak.

"Why thank you, I never would have guessed that. I mean, you have a war party and are going to the capital city of Ferelden on the only highway there," the elf drawled sarcastically.

I giggled into my fist, not entirely able to quash the sound. "We seek a scholar named Genetivi," I clarified, having passed my mirth off as a small cough. "He is supposed to have the whereabouts of the Urn of Sacred Ashes."

Zevran frowned slightly. "And what is that?"

Leliana gave a small gasp of horror. "It is only the ashes of the Prophet Andraste! Her ashes are here in Ferelden and are said to have healing properties," she explained, affronted at his lack of knowledge.

Alistair shot her a warning glance. One of Leliana's shoulders lifted in a barely noticeable shrug.

Zevran nodded sagely. "And yet you are all well. Why do we need magical soot?"

"Someone very near and dear to us is very ill. Poisoned and magically ill. Nothing attempted has changed their condition. A relative heard of the Urn and declared it to be the only hope of restoring our friend. I just really hope it works," Alistair babbled before I could stop him.

I fought the urge to bring a hand to my eyes in disappointment. The shadows in Zevran's eyes betrayed that he was aware he had been lied to. Well, that he hadn't been given the whole truth at least.

"Did you see anyone other than Loghain when you were sent after us?" I asked, trying to move away from the sensitive subject.

"There was a man, he had a high bearing and ratty face. A nobleman of some sort or another I would say, with a strange name. Terran Whom or some such – "

"Howe," Alistair interrupted. "Teryn Howe. He assumed the Terynir of Highever when the Couslands were killed."

Zevran flashed him an annoyed look before continuing, " – and a beautiful blonde maid. She was very angry at Loghain."

"That would be Queen Anora," put in Leliana. "I wonder what she thinks of her father after he left her husband to die at Ostagar."

We had already convinced the ex-Chantry Sister about that then. It was very refreshing to know someone who hadn't personally witnessed the display and believe Alistair's and my side of the story.

"Yes, because leaving Cailan would make her _so _happy anyways," Alistair spat angrily.

Despite having it been made clear that Alistair felt nothing for Maric and his half-brother, he was still a bit unhappy over Cailan's passing. Or maybe it was simply that he was left alone in line for a throne he never wanted.

"Near and dear to whom?" Zevran asked suddenly.

"Sorry?" I queried, unsure where that had come from.

"The person ill, you said, was somebody close to you. There is no way that they could be very important to all of you," he explained. "You are an elvhen mage, the other two lovely ladies are human – and one is a mage – Sten is a qunari and Alistair, is it? Is a far cry from the witch. Although, from the way they squabble, is it so hard to believe that they are siblings?"

This elf didn't miss anything. For a moment, that revelation shocked us all into a stunned silence in which no one moved. Alistair's eyes widened.

"So, if you would please give me a little more to go on…?" he prompted.

"I am _not_ his _sister_!" Morrigan exclaimed in indignation and jabbed a long-nailed finger at Alistair's chest.

"Hm," went Zevran a little skeptically. "But thank you for that bit of useless information."

I stammered for a moment before Alistair cut me off with a look. I shut my mouth and nodded to him to go ahead.

"Me," the templar said. "This person is a relative of mine. Arl Eamon is his name and he is my uncle."

Zevran's face remained impassive as he recorded that piece of knowledge. Did he even understand what the Warden was talking about? Not likely. He only wanted an honest answer as he had already – I hope – given us one.

"And you?" I pressed. "Why are you here?"

"Loghain, being the charming fellow he is, put a request in for the Antivan Crows to clean up the Grey Warden mess he found himself standing in." He shrugged. "The highest bidder won the job."

"And you were the highest bidder?" Leliana arched an eyebrow.

"Well, yes. I was the, ah, only bidder. You _are_ Grey Wardens after all. You are, ah, quite… dangerous," stuttered the elf. "And, also, it smells like cold, wet dogs here."

"Why am I not surprised?" Alistair groaned at that.

"A suicide mission?" I asked. I wasn't particularly happy to have connected those dots. Someone looking for death was hardly companion material.

Zevran looked away. "Are you going to interrogate me all night, _again_? I am tired," he remarked, effectively confirming my suspicions.

I bowed my head and apologized.

The Crow stood and crossed the camp to disappear into a newer looking tent. When he had crawled into the canvas shelter Alistair sighed. "Well that was… enlightening."

I laughed. "You know you would want answers if you were him."

The other Warden shrugged. "Why would Anora be upset with her father?"

"Are you even listening to yourself Alistair?" huffed Leliana. "He abandoned her husband and betrayed her."

"I, too, tire of this tedious conversation." Morrigan stalked to the other edge of the clearing and retreated into her tent.

I called a goodnight after her as the witch faded from view. Alistair and I headed to our own bedrolls not long after, leaving Leliana and Sten to keep watch. I slept fitfully for the last night in a very long time.

XOX

The next day was much cooler than the last. Frost glittered on the ground and coated the trees, making them look as though someone had sprinkled tiny pinpricks of silverite over them. Clueless was sent, much to his distress, with Bodahn and Sandal. Everyone gathered in the clearing for breakfast before setting off for the road again.

The day's march was uneventful and, to be honest, boring as nothing had ever bored me before. Alistair reluctantly answered Zevran's increasingly ridiculous questions – "I like my hair the way it is!" – Morrigan looked on reproachfully as I tried to keep the men from wringing one another's necks. Well, keep Alistair from throttling the elf at any rate. I just fought down the urge to claw the arrogant smirk off the Antivan's face. Leliana only offered the occasional comment about nothing in particular and Sten was content to frown impassively at the surrounding forest all day. They would be hard nuts to crack.

Eventually it was all I could do not to just knock Alistair's and Zevran's heads together. The assassin had gotten the other Warden would up about tattoos and stood back to watch him go for ages. I don't think either of them knew what they were trying to convince the other of anymore.

The days following passed in a similar manner. One night we were all seated before a warm fire, wrapped in furs to protect against the chill. An uneasy truce between Alistair and Zevran had formed when the conversation wandered in Morrigan's direction once again. The two seemed to have it out for her, despite the witch being the most prickly of the party.

"If you jest at me one more time I will not hesitate to turn you all into toads," she threatened.

Alistair's eyes grew round in fright. Zevran's did not.

"My apologies, of course," said the elf smoothly.

I rolled my eyes, did everything just roll off his back like that?

"Why did you take the contract for us?" Alistair asked. He hadn't pressed the Antivan much since the first day, but now he did. Maybe he – like me – thought that now the Crow would be more open to the question since we had become better acquainted.

"I…" A shadow flickered over Zevran's face. Maybe the Warden had finally found a nerve with this topic. "I needed the money," he said lamely, staring evenly into the flames.

"You said yesterday that you didn't get paid. That your masters did," Alistair pounced on the elf's transparent answer.

"Fine, fine, if you really must know Alistair. This is really why." Zevran launched into a wild tale about an Antivan woman, four mercenaries and a pair of Dalish-made gloves. None of us believed it for a moment but still he talked, making it up as he went.

"If I ask you again, will you tell me the real reason?" I queried.

Leliana dropped the lute she had been idly strumming, catching it deftly before it hit the packed dirt between her and I.

"No." Zevran studied a long scratch on one of his elbow guards.

"Great," Morrigan and Alistair muttered in unison.

I nodded and decided that if the Antivan wanted to tell, then he would with no amount of cajoling from the rest of the group. The circle around the fire slowly grew tighter as members of the group retired for the night. At long last, only Leliana and I remained in the red light of the fire.

I sighed, watching as my breath billowed out and away over the sparks from the campfire. I wished that with that vanishing breath, my nightmares would follow and fade as well. Each night they seemed to worsen, the next one more terrifying than the last. That morning I had woken drenched in sweat and gagging from the stench of blood my subconscious dredged up from memory. I pretended not to see the concerned look from Alistair, knowing that even though his kept him from sleeping all night, mine kept me up hours after everyone else.

"When you dream," Leliana spoke hesitantly, "do you know you are sleeping?"

I was surprised by her question. "N-no, I guess I don't."

She looked thoughtful for a heartbeat. "Perhaps this is what makes them so horrible. You, as a mage, are unused to being unaware like that. You are uncertain how to deal with the unknowing each of us face every night we close our eyes. The fact that you cannot control the frightening images and sounds might worsen each night because, deep down, you can feel that you are safe even though the taint makes you more open to the darkspawn."

"I hadn't even thought of that," I admitted. Now it seemed silly that I completely ignored the notion. Then I felt myself droop. "But that doesn't matter, the next time I close my eyes, they'll be there. The awareness is always just beneath the surface."

Leliana gazed evenly at me.

"I… It's hard to describe this," I said, looking for the words to try to help her understand. "It's like a shadow, living in my skin. A kind of… filth that I can't seem to wash off – no matter how hard I scrub, it will always be there. With that feeling I can sense, I guess I'd call it foreboding. The feeling that something terrible is poised to happen. Every day it feels just a tiny bit stronger. One day, it'll let go, release, and I suspect that day we will face the true Blight. It feels like that when I sleep."

"Thank you for your honesty. It is rarely easy to remember something this painful, but one is often rewarded when a friend listens." The ex-Chantry Sister's face took on a thoughtful expression once more. "Why did you tell me instead of Alistair?"

"I…" I had no answer for that. Well, maybe I did. I just had no intention of letting anyone know.

"You didn't want him to think you were afraid," she crowed. "You thought he would take you for a fool and not think so highly of you. You like him!"

My face went hot all over. "Shhh! Keep your voice down," I begged. "Someone might hear you."

"Well," Leliana appeared very much pleased with herself. "I won't tell anyone. You have my word." She winked.

I hid my face in my hands. "You are a very mean lady," I joked. "How did you guess?"

She took a deep breath before replying. "I was trained to read people in Orlais."

I nodded. If she could wait for me to go to her with my troubles, I could be patient and allow Leliana her own time. "Did you find that helpful?"

She toed around a pebble before answering. "In my line of work, yes. It made all the difference knowing how a person thought of you."

I twisted my fingers together and looked up at the night sky. "Well, this has been enlightening," I said, releasing her from any feeling of obligation to speak any more. "I am really tired. Despite my nightmares, I should really get some sleep."

She dipped her head, trying to hide the tinge of relief in her features.

I stood and stretched. "Goodnight."

Leliana returned the sentiment and crossed camp to wake Sten. As she did so, I moved in the direction of Alistair's. Ducking inside, I found the almost-templar in the throes of his own bad dreams. I knelt in the mess of his bedroll and caught his arm. While I gave it a hard shake I called his name.

Alistair stared up at me, fear still lingering in his eyes. "Watch?" he mumbled groggily.

"Yes, all quiet," I replied. I quickly exited the tent, feeling my face grow hot under his bleary gaze.

Did I really like the fumbling Warden? Sure he was kind and funny. And a good fighter, and strong and – I cut myself off there. Yeah, I thought Leliana pretty well hit the nail on the head there. I collapsed in my own tent and closed my eyes. Even though I dreaded the dark whispers that would follow me as soon as I fell into a deep sleep and wake shivering I needed to rest.


End file.
